Last day at the pool for the summer.

Early in high school, I had a fixation with neon colors. Call it "raver complex."

One day at the mall, I saw a pair of neon green swim trunks on sale and bought them.

I showed up for P.E. the next day in the neon green swim trunks and a neon green Polo shirt. Peter Finerty looked at me and seriously thought I was retarded.

To this day, I continue to wear said pair of swim trunks when I swim. Of course, now I feel really gay walking around in them, but I'm too lazy to buy another pair. If it ain't broke…

I should note that the neon green has faded into the soft shade of Baskin Robbins' daiquiri ice cream.

A Hindian guy named Shane sold me a bag of Lays today.

As automated as present day public restrooms are, no sensor will ever be able to prevent homeless people from entering or Mexicans from peeing on toilet seats.

I saw a bus that said "kneeling bus" on its side and couldn't help picturing it giving another bus a knobber.

We received a Shizzle Bike at work. It looks uncomfortable to ride. Josh tried assembling it but two screws were defective.

—No matter. The Shizzle people said they'd send us two more immediately.

Up the west coast I go.