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This shirt is teh cool. I want one to wear when if I visit this summer.

***

My cousin Betsy's getting married on Saturday in Northern California.

Graduation is Friday and Sunday in Southern California.

Betsy's wedding is part of the reason why I'm not graduating until December.

Betsy's father is my mother's brother. Many of my relatives on my mother's side are in town for the wedding. They all think I just graduated. I've received $2,200 in graduation money so far.

Wednesday night, someone decided that we should all have dinner at Hometown Buffet.

Sitting at my table, I looked around at all the patrons and thought —This is my future if I don't succeed in life. I wonder how many people here majored in English.

***

I once knew a girl who procrastinated on a research paper and ended up turning it in late. The professor told her he didn't accept late papers. The girl started crying and told the professor —I had an abortion!

That's such an ingenious excuse if presented convincingly. A professor can neither confirm nor deny it.

The girl got a B-.

***

On Father's day, fathers get a free burrito at Chipotle.

After much persuasion, my cousin Eddie agreed to let me borrow his two-year-old son Akira on Sunday. We're going to drive around the Bay Area getting free burritos for Uncle Jon. Akira has a little sister. I wonder if the burritos are per child.

***

Tim Cavanaugh in Reason Magazine:
—It doesn't matter how much gas costs, how poorly things are going in Iraq, what new torture memos surface, or whether there are new terror attacks inside our borders, Bush is going to kick [Kerry's] ass all over the United States. When U.S. troops are in the field, the candidate perceived as more hawkish always wins. Though I find Bush slightly (ever so slightly) less emetic than Kerry, he's a crook, a stumblebum, and a lazy, mirthless little prince, and any country that would re-elect him deserves every bad thing that will happen to it.

Word.

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