Dress up like Hitler and have nuns throw Jello at your balls!

Tuesday afternoon, I waited a little over three hours outside Tower Records on Sunset to meet the cast and crew of Freaks and Geeks.

When I arrived, there were already twelve people in line. One person flew down from Bellingham, WA for this event.

A few minutes later, a gray sports car entered the parking lot blaring hip hop music from within. Its license plate read —BLIIING. The driver of the car was an old (50+) white man. He exited the store with a copy of the Chappelle's Show DVD set.

The cast and crew arrived together in a school bus.

While I was rushed along the signing table by Tower personnel, I'll never forget the brief time I spent with a group of people whom I absolutely adore.

I met (in order of encounter):

Michael Beardsley ("Humphries")
Mike White (writer, also: writer/star of The School of Rock)
Steve Bannos ("Mr. Kowchevski")
Dave 'Gruber' Allen ("Mr. Rosso," also: The Naked Trucker)
Martin Starr ("Bill Haverchuck")
Seth Rogen ("Ken Miller," also: writer/star of Undeclared on Fox)
Judd Apatow (producer, also: creator of Undeclared on Fox)
Paul Feig (creator)
John Daley ("Sam Weir")
Sarah Hagan ("Millie Kentner")

At this point, I realized that sitting in the next seat over was none other than James fuckin' Franco. I didn't think he'd be there, being the movie star that he is, and I didn't see him come out of the school bus, but regardless, I think it was really cool of him to support the show like this.

James Franco ("Daniel Desario," also: Harry Osborn in Spider-Man)

I can now say that I have met the official actor of adamriff.com. Why James Franco? Because he was born and raised in the Bay Area (like Jon and Adam Riff™), attended Palo Alto High School (Adam Riff™'s alma mater), majored in English (Jon) at UCLA (Jon and Rory) and because he's just fuckin' badass. He played James Dean, for fuck's sake!

Anyway, back to the list:

Natasha Melnick ("Cindy Sanders")
Samm Levine ("Neal Schweiber")
Busy Philipps ("Kim Kelly")
Jason Segel ("Nick Andopolis")
Linda Cardellini ("Lindsay Weir," also: Velma in Scooby-Doo)
Tom Wilson ("Ben Fredricks," also: Biff Tannen in Back to the Future)

Here's a partial transcript of me Tuesday night:

You're my favorite screenwriter. Arrested Development shortchanged you on Sunday's episode. How are you unemployed? Dude, you're fuckin' HI-larious! Can you sign it as Gorthon? I saw you on campus when you were shooting Undeclared and I wanted to approach you but you looked intimidating. I fell in love with you after watching The Cable Guy and began following your work like you were L. Ron Hubbard. I love that line in your book that says —I think part of the problem is that in order to enjoy watching sports, one must enjoy playing sports. You've grown really tall. I can't wait for Spider-Man 2! You were so hot on the show! I met you at the opening day midnight screening of Episode II. You're very nice in real life. You look different in every photograph of you. You went to St. Francis, right? I think you're the greatest actress associated with my hometown.

More TV shows should hold events like this.

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