Tim Grierson wrote an article for Knot Magazine on his favorite moments from cinema in 2003.

He says —When we think about our favorite movies from the last year, do we really think about the whole film experience? Probably not. Instead, we tend to think in smaller units: a great scene, a good performance, a funny line.

Grierson mentions some of my favorite moments — the anime sequence in Kill Bill: Vol. 1, that Civil War battle scene in Cold Mountain — and his article got me thinking.

Before the Oscars, let us remember the great individual scenes and moments that defined the past year in cinema (for me):

in city of god, when li'l zé sticks a gun in the hand of 10-year-old steak & fries, points to two small weeping boys and orders him to shoot the child of his choice

in old school, will ferrell's ribbon-twirling routine

in irreversible, when pierre smashes a man's head to pieces with a fire extinguisher

in irreversible, the anal rape of monica bellucci in a street tunnel that runs nearly ten minutes

in x2, when rogue flies out of the blackbird and nightcrawler teleports to get her back inside

in the matrix reloaded, when the pile-up of agent smiths erupts

in bruce almighty, when jim carrey controls what steve carell says

in 28 days later, when jim emerges from a coma to find london eerily deserted

in 28 days later, when the camera pans down and we see jim's thumbs pressed deep inside the army major's eye sockets

any scene with harry in spellbound

in hulk, nick nolte's over-the-top conversation with eric bana in a warehouse

the car chase in terminator 3: rise of the machines

in pirates of the caribbean: the curse of the black pearl, the seamless cgi as johnny depp and geoffrey rush duel up a cave path lit at places with moonlight

in american splendor, the discussion about revenge of the nerds

in once upon a time in mexico, when johnny depp says that the pork is so good that when he's finished, he'll walk straight into the kitchen and shoot the cook, and he finishes eating and walks straight into the kitchen and shoots the cook and some blood unprofessionally splatters on the camera lens

in once upon a time in mexico, johnny depp's blind shoot-out

in lost in translation, when two ladies sitting behind bill murray in a hospital waiting room try their best not to laugh when he finds himself engaged in a futile, linguistically-challenged conversation with an old woman

in the school of rock, jack black and the kids' battle of the bands performance

in kill bill: volume one, the gunshot in the first scene

in kill bill: volume one, the showdown at the house of blue leaves

in the texas chainsaw massacre, when the hitchhiker pulls a gun out of her vagina and shoots herself in the head and the camera pans backward from the front of the van through the hole in her head and out the bullet hole in the rear window of the van

in the texas chainsaw massacre, poor andy hangs from a meat hook with his toes and salvation wriggling just centimeters above the keys of a disused piano

in bad santa, when the hindian guy from office space assaults billy bob thornton

the ending of big fish

in the lord of the rings: the return of the king, when the giant spider stealthily re-appears


Is it a hardcore band or a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie?

1. Black Eagle
2. Dead to Fall
3. First Blood
4. Sudden Death
5. Death Threat
6. No Warning
7. Bloodsport
8. No Retreat, No Surrender
9. Darkest Hour
10. Silent Drive
11. Final Burden
12. In Hell
13. Nowhere to Run
14. Blood for Blood
15. Death Warrant
16. Wake of Death

answers: 1. J | 2. H | 3. H | 4. J | 5. H | 6. H | 7. J | 8. J | 9. H | 10. H | 11. H | 12. J | 13. J | 14. H | 15. J | 16. J


The NFL dumped J.C. Chasez from the halftime show at this Sunday's Pro Bowl in Honolulu after fellow *NSYNC member Justin Timberlake's stunt with Janet Jackson during the Super Bowl halftime show last weekend.

The new Pro Bowl halftime plan includes hula dancers, drummers, conch shell blowers and local singers.

I am shocked and appalled.

Unable to fine Timberlake, the NFL decided to oust Timberlake ally Chasez instead, justifying interference with the existing state of affairs as necessary to remove weapons of cultural destruction which posed a direct threat to America.

—We believed the song and the choreography were going to be over the top, NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy said.

Of course, we all know how this will end.

Liberal: Ha! There were no weapons of cultural destruction!
Conservative: So what? The NFL still did the right thing. Wouldn't you agree that the world is a better place without J.C. Chasez on stage?


On the Hawaii auditions episode of American Idol last week, Aaron Flora, the drummer for the band Throwdown, sang a rendition of "I Think I Love You" by David Cassidy. When he walked in, Paula asked —Are you barefoot? and when he finished snapping and singing, Simon remarked —Your performance was a wipeout, assuming that Aaron was a surfer.

Ice Cube in a commercial for Barbershop 2:
—A real barbershop got real people and most of all, good barbers.

The dramatic voice-over guy in a teaser for the Fox 11 10 o'clock News:
—Then: Janet and Justin's boobylicious performance.

Scooter Girl on American Idol needs a good kick in the cunt. You can't sing, you're not funny and you need to lose weight.

ABC News Edwards Campaign Reporter Gloria Riviera on Nightline:
—It has been confirmed that Hootie and all the Blowfish are on board for Edwards.

Salon has an interesting article on John Kerry's dysfunctional family, which includes ketchup heiress Teresa Heinz and a reclusive Buddhist blacksmith who runs a school for wayward kids.


AOL Marketing Department:
—Gentlemen, the Super Bowl is approaching. We bought some airtime during the game. Anyone have any ideas for commercials?
—I like those commercials for Ratchet and Clank. What about copying them with — get this — the stars of American Chopper?
—Brilliant! I love it! We'll make Apple's "1984" clip look like a student film! All right. Second order of business: Does anyone use AOL anymore?

—Choose to vote.
—Choose to vote.
—Choose to vote.
Jessica Simpson:
—Choose to PARTY!!!

Colin on the Super Bowl halftime show:
—this is "we couldn't get outkast"

Adam and I:
—justin/janet is the new britney/madonna
—oh totally
—can't wait for the leno jokes
—and the o'reilly censure
—and the same pictures to appear on every young male's shitty blog
—along with search engine phrases like "janet jackson's super bowl halftime nipple slip!" in the title bars to attract unwarranted traffic
—which is ironic, using what someone else did for attention to get attention
—but this one makes even less sense
—one boob sorta flopping out
—that's like if timberlake had a new album coming out and he did a texas belt buckle on the billboard music awards
—why would putting your balls over the top of your pants make any sense

—at this year's video music awards
—jennifer lopez better give birth on stage to a stillborn baby boy which ja rule proceeds to rape dressed as the pope while j. lo screams "ben, it's yours!" into the camera with a flood of tears on her face