Date Archives January 2004

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Sour cream and silicone sealant are both white substances that can be applied with a caulking gun, which makes them perfect candidates for this party game: One girl sits with the tip of a caulking gun loaded with sour cream stuck in her vagina, another…

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The New York Times reports that a multiplex in Dallas plans to reserve all 20 of its screens for The Passion of Christ, Mel Gibson's controversial interpretation of The Passion, due out February 25 (Ash Wednesday). The Cinemark Tinseltown will also screen the film on…

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Excerpts from the early spring 2004 SkyMall catalogue: Where do I begin? How can the software company equate Bush's address after September 11 with the Constitution of the United States? —It is my hope that in the months and years ahead, life will return almost…

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The following is a partial transcript of the January 15 episode of The Abrams Report on MSNBC: ABRAMS: Welcome back. Here for you another sterling example of the criminal mind at work. When Spokane, Washington Police caught Donnell Winston after a bank was held up,…

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—Bush administration officials are planning an election-year initiative to promote marriage, especially among low-income couples, the New York Times reported on Wednesday. More poor people with kids. Yeah, that's exactly what we need. Moreover: —President Bush unveiled a plan Wednesday to send astronauts to the…

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Matt comments on the baby names piece: —i'm a big fan of calling [black people] on making names up —i had a cashier named Aphrodesia —my sister knew a guy named Ty'Juan. pronounced taiwan. —man, what are some good ones i've heard. oh, hahaha, my…

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According to babynames.com, the three most popular names for boys in 2003 were Aiden, Jaden and Caden. You'd think they'd be like Michael or Matthew. Nope. Aiden, Jaden and Caden. babynames.com is, evidently, run by black people from Ireland.