I can't watch The Simple Life anymore. The show is just not funny. In fact, it infuriates me. Paris and Nicole don't take anything seriously. I genuinely want to kill them. I want to beat respect into them with a bat and then teach them responsibility with a chainsaw and wood chipper.

These girls' parents should be ashamed of themselves for not properly raising their daughters. No, they should be forced to eat their children once I'm through with them, clean up the mess they created.

What, exactly, is the point of rich girls?

Girls who are born into wealth never seem to have anything worthwhile to contribute to society. All they do is groom themselves, spend money and party…for their entire life.

In science, an organism that depends on something else for existence or support without making a useful or adequate return is called a parasite. And what do we usually do to parasites? We get rid of them.

On Wednesday night's episode of The O.C., Kirsten's sister locks Ryan and Seth in the poolhouse from the outside.

Are there actually people who install doors that only lock from the outside?

Also: —do they not have windows that you can open in socal

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

There were several moments when I thought two hobbits were going to kiss.

I don't understand why anyone would participate in a battle charge. It's such a stupid maneuver, especially if you're in the front. Fuck courage. Fighting from a distance is how smart people do it. I'm throwing rocks before I approach someone.

EXITthe return of the king (2)