My family had Thanksgiving dinner at another family's house. They also invited other families who, unbeknownst to me, were from their church.
I was about to serve myself food when my father stopped me.
Jon, wait until they pray.
Wait until they WHAT? I thought.
Mrs. Kang (the hostess) made everyone hold hands.
Christian Asians are so insufferable.
Mrs. Kang introduced me to the girl sitting next to me at my table.
This is [I forget what her name is]. She's a doctoral student at Stanford.
We had an awkward conversation, with kids at our table quietly listening along.
Where do you go to school?
What's your major?
I think from now on, I'm going to start telling people that I'm majoring in Fuck You.
Mr. Kang (the host) was strangely excited that I turned 21 last month.
You should drink tonight!
Have a glass of wine!
If you don't like white wine, we have red wine!
I don't like wine at all, but I didn't want to be impolite, so I kept telling him that I'd have some later.
As I was serving myself food, Mr. Kang approached me with a glass of red wine.
Here, drink up!
I took the glass of wine with me to my table with no intention of drinking it. Halfway through eating, I went to exchange the glass of wine for a can of Coke in the kitchen and Mr. Kang walked in. He thought I had gone back for more wine and insisted we drink together.
Shit, I thought.
He grabbed his glass, we clanked ours together and I pretended to enjoy a painful little sip.
It's good, isn't it?
Yeah… Very good…
Here, let me fill up your glass!
Later in the evening, my father walked up to me with a grin on his face and asked Jon, did you get drunk?
He wasn't being sarcastic.
EXITdriving my car