I know this guy Cameron. He works at a movie theatre, a multiplex.

The other day, he received the following message from the theatre's publicist:

For publicity and piracy combating reasons, Warner Bros. is going ahead with plans to release The Matrix Revolutions simultaneously on Wednesday, November 5th at the exact same time worldwide, 6AM PST, 9AM EST.

Get those coffee orders in now. :-)


Warners couldn't at least have the rest of the world accommodate a sensible release time in North America? 6:00 AM in Los Angeles is sometime between 7:00-8:30 PM in Pakistan, Uzbekistan, India, Bangladesh and Burma. Stupid third world countries… I say "fuck them"! Let them pull all-nighters! They don't even like American movies — they have that Bollywood shit!


with all due respect to tony…

At first I was happy to be learning how to read. It seemed exciting and magical. But then I read this: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I read every last word of this garbage and because of this piece of shit, I'm never reading again!
— Officer Barbrady in South Park 203: Chicken Lover

On The O'Reilly Factor last week, Bill O'Reilly said that "most Americans think California is getting what it deserves" regarding next week's recall election.


Is this what you out-of-state fuckers think? That we DESERVE this shit?

This is Doug "Logan Darrow" Clements. He is running for Governor of California.

His platform is derived primarily from the book Atlas Shrugged.



—My philosophy is that of philosopher Ayn Rand, who wrote the second most influential book in America, Atlas Shrugged. The name of [Rand's] philosophy is called objectivism.

—I want to make government as small as possible so the economy can be as large as possible. For starters, I would reduce by 50 percent the government spending on education by making all the schools private, from K through Ph.D universities. I would make the government so that it is only dealing with proper functions to protect our rights, like state troopers, courts, prisons, police, plus minor administrative functions. Almost everything else would be eliminated.

—I'm not a conservative, and I'm not a liberal. Liberals favor personal freedom but are against economic freedom and conservatives are against personal freedom but favor economic freedom. As an objectivist, I favor maximum economic freedom and maximum personal freedom.


He's an "objectivist."

watch Clements' two-minute candidate statement
Is that a copy of Atlas Shrugged propped up on the bottom left?

No state deserves shit like this.

happy birthday, winston

My brother turns fourteen today. He looks like the Asian keyboardist in The School of Rock, in theatres Friday.

Robert Tsai as My Brother

New Mighty Ducks star Sergei Fedorov says he already has a favorite California food. "Yeah, Baja Fresh," he said, laughing. "It's healthy, very healthy, very spicy food. I never eat spicy before."
The Orange County Register 09.22.03

Shouldn't the headline say "bad" instead of "good"?

According to a poll conducted by the Sports Marketing Group in Atlanta, pro wrestling is America's second most hated sport behind…dogfighting.

I can't believe that Americans would rather watch women's golf than wrestling.


Jon and I and some friends saw Radiohead at the Hollywood Bowl Friday night.

They played "Creep."

As with all major shows in Los Angeles, it was a Hollywood clusterfuck.

We spotted Danny DeVito, Alison Janney, Haley Joel Osment, John Larroquette (?!), Tobey Maguire, Alyssa Milano and Giovanni Ribisi in our promenade. Meg Ryan and Brittany Murphy were also allegedly in attendance.

I shook hands and exchanged words with Jack Black and Tim Roth.

Good show.


At Michigan they spray paint a rock on campus before big games. Let's say you wander into Ann Arbor and they spray paint The Rock. What happens?
"In the most loving way possible, I stick the can straight up their asses and say, 'You're welcome.'"
— The Rock in Sports Illustrated on Campus 09.30.03

It would be irresponsible of the only remaining wrestling fan I know not to say a few words about The Rundown (working title: Helldorado), in theatres today.

The Rundown

Early on in the movie, Beck (The Rock) tells Travis (Seann William Scott) that he doesn't use guns. My immediate reaction was "great, this is going to be a Charlie's Angels type deal," but as the movie progresses, the issue of how Beck doesn't like to use guns and how you don't want to be around him when he has a gun keeps coming up. Simple movie logic says that Beck will inevitably have to use a gun, and he does. During the climax of the movie, director Peter Berg (Very Bad Things) spends about two minutes selling Beck's conflicted feelings toward using a gun with dramatic music and quick cutting of urgent shots. This build-up sequence really primes the audience to see Beck go crazy with a gun and fuck shit up. When he finally picks up a (shot)gun, however, he shoots like three people and a bus and walks away. That's it. So crazy… The anti-gun issue is not addressed in the movie again.

I've seen the movie twice and I'm still not sure what is so unspeakable about Beck with a gun and why the movie spends the time it does teasing viewers.

I'm sick of hearing people say that The Rundown marks the arrival of The Rock as an action star. What was he before he made this movie then? I refer you to the Rock-HHH ladder match at Summerslam 98, I refer you to Rock-HHH Iron Man at Judgment Day 2000, Rock-Austin, Wrestlemania X7, Rock-Hogan, Mania X8, and all his promos in between. It's possible to be a "fake" action star without Hollywood magic, you know.

The School of Rock

I haven't felt so good walking out of a theatre in a long time. It may be a cheesy family movie, but it, well, rocks.


The combo meals at the Northwest fast food chain Taco Time include "Mexican" food, a soft drink and Mexi-Fries…which are tater tots.

Serving fries with "Mexican" food is not unheard of. The Del Taco fast food chain here in southern California serves fries with "Mexican" food too, but at least they're actually fries, krinkle-cut fries. What is this Mexi-Fries shit? They're tater tots! There's nothing "Mexi" or "fries" about them.

Apparently, in an effort to compete with Taco Time, Taco Bell restaurants in the Northwest also serve tater tots, only seasoned. What are they referred to as?


Bonus points to any food with a name that describes what it is both entering and exiting the body.

In other news, McDonald's plans to test a "Go Active! Happy Meal" for adults, featuring a salad, bottled water, a pedometer and an exercise booklet.

If you need to go to McDonald's for an incentive to walk, you might as well as just order a Big Mac there.

The Adam Riff™ North American Summer Tour 2003

start: Los Angeles, CA

Northern California Leg 1
06.13 —> San Jose —> Mountain View
06.20 —> Berkeley —> Walnut Creek —> Lafayette —> Concord
06.21 —> Los Angeles

Northern Trail Leg
07.10 —> Dallas, TX —> Detroit, MI —> Royal Oak, MI
07.12 —> Montreal, QB, CA
07.14 —> Farmington Hills, MI —> Troy, MI
07.15 —> Ann Arbor, MI
07.16 —> Chicago, IL —> Los Angeles, CA

East Coast Leg
08.01 —> Phoenix, AZ —> Washington D.C.
08.02 —> New York City, NY
08.04 —> College Park, MD —> Las Vegas, NV —> Los Angeles, CA

Northern California Leg 2
08.28 —> San Jose —> Mountain View
08.31 —> San Francisco
09.02 —> Berkeley
09.03 —> Los Angeles

Pacific Northwest Leg
09.12 —> Salem, OR
09.14 —> Portland, OR
09.16 —> Seattle-Tacoma, WA —> Newcastle/Renton, WA
09.17 —> Bellevue, WA
09.18 —> Herron Island, WA
09.21 —> Los Angeles, CA

Thank you to the following people (many of whom we met online) for their involvement in this year's tour:

Northern California
Katy, Nadia, Josh S, Danielle, Claudine, Sarah

Northern Trail
Jord, Tony, Danielle, Robert B, Jon, J-Ram, Matt, Bruno, Tim Horton's, Tony's dad, Danielle's parents, Tib, Bob

East Coast
Jose, Anna, Adam Riff™, Seth, Josh K-R, Bernie, Sima

Pacific Northwest
Josh S, Dan, Colin, Chris, Robert S, Chris' dad, Mike, Tim, Scott

and Elizabeth for airport service in Los Angeles

To do: make friends online with people who live in Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Wisconsin and Canada in time for next spring and/or summer.


The Montana Family Coalition is planning a media campaign against the television show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, claiming that it is "trash" and shouldn't be on television.

"To me, that's not a reality show about gay people," said the coalition's executive director Julie Millam. "A really good reality show for gay people would be five gay men dying of AIDS."
source article

happy belated birthday, website

adam riff™ flashback:
Three planes commandeered by unknown hijackers slammed into the Pentagon and New York's landmark World Trade Center, demolishing the twin 110-story towers that were once the tallest buildings in the world and possibly burying thousands of people in now geographically-incorrect New York City tourist merchandise.

Now is the time to give it all up. To give up hatred, give up grudges, give up differences, because it's not worth it. To spend our lives disliking someone or something, or have grudges … [when] our own world is so small? If everyone doesn't come to their senses and realize we've got to let all that go, then they're blind. They're as blind as the people who are killing us. I've had my problems with whoever I've had them with, and whoever had their problem with me or Limp Bizkit. [But] I'm a human being, and I'm prepared to step up to that. All of my differences are gone now.
— Fred Durst 09.28.01

How many people out there have had one of those fucked-up days? I can remember quite a few fucked-up days just recently, and I think I spent those days with that fucking bitch Britney Spears.
— Fred Durst 09.08.03

We're feeling the love, Fred.

A federal judge recently ruled that September 11 victims can sue for negligence. Here are some of the many claims:

American Airlines, United Airlines: Should have screened passengers to keep terrorists from boarding.

Port Authority of N.Y. and N.J., Larry Silverstein's WTC Properties: Didn't design building safely or provide adequate evacuation plans.

Boeing: Should have built cockpit doors that could prevent terrorists from breaking in.

This is absurd. How can people sue airlines for not screening passengers when the hijackers that day boarded airplanes with only box cutters and flight training? The hijackers did not have anything that would identify themselves as terrorists. Back then, remember, sharp household objects were allowed on board. Also, I don't think the designers and landlord of the World Trade Center ever considered commercial airplanes flying into the towers — who would?

In academia, new ideas are built off old ones. We have tighter security at airports and on airplanes nowadays because of what happened on September 11. To sue because past security wasn't as tight as current security is absurd. As the saying goes: "Hindsight is 20/20."


87 billion dollars.


Maybe I'm totally missing the point of Bush's request, but shouldn't we worry about improving the standard of living in our own country before we go about improving it elsewhere? I live in a state that is the world's fifth largest economy and we're bankrupt. Public schools across America (including mine) are scraping by with considerably reduced budgets. Recent college graduates cannot find jobs and those who have them are being laid off. Our country could put this 87 billion dollars (or at least some of it) to better use reconstructing itself.


If the Transportation Security Administration at LAX insists on inspecting every piece of checked luggage, could it at least demarcate with stickers that aren't so sticky? The hot pink tags currently in use are ridiculously tough to peel off luggage cleanly.

What happened in the world of wrestling this week?

After Shane McMahon kicked Kane into a fiery dumpster last week, Kane attached a set of jumper cables to Shane's testicles and then attached the other end to a car battery.

Meanwhile, Brock Lesnar kidnapped "injured" one-legged wrestler Zach Gowen, gagged his mouth and tossed Gowen's wheelchair — with Gowen still in it — down a 25-foot staircase.

Sometimes I wonder myself why I watch wrestling.


Cliché #3011: Commenting on how MTV doesn't play music videos anymore.

Let it go already, people. Like movie trailers, videos are all available online nowadays. Moreover, VH1 was born "Video Hits One" and no one seems to care that it no longer plays any hit videos. Why is it such an issue that "Music Television" (words which the network consciously deleted from its logo a while back) airs non-music-related programming? The fact of the matter is that no other television channel caters specifically to the 12-24 demographic and does it so well. MTV doesn't play videos anymore because it doesn't have to. Kids will tune in regardless of whatever dreck it chooses to air. Even those who hate MTV still watch it. People need to stop viewing MTV as an acronym and simply consider it a broadcast paradigm.

In a blow to feminism, Mentos now come in a box.

Doesn't it seem like every time you visit Yahoo!, one of the headlines in the news box concerns a blast in a third world country that killed a certain number of people?

As "punk" as the lead singer of the band Simple Plan tries to be, his name is still Pierre.

Kellogg's Apple Jacks, which do not taste anything like apples, now come with blue carrot-shaped cereal pieces that do not taste anything like carrots. Apple Jacks with blue carrots — the breakfast of nihilists. As near as my admittedly limited research can ascertain, it's also the first cereal that can have an orgy.