Theatre of the Absurd 3

X-Men
07.15.00
Mountain View, CA

I went to an afternoon screening of X-Men opening weekend.

About a third of the way through the movie, a baby in the auditorium started to cry. The crying was not horribly loud, but it was definitely a nuisance.

The father of the baby perfunctorily tried to pacify his child.

"Waahhh waahhh!"

"Shhh!"

"Waahhh waahhh!"

"Shhh!"

Personally, I don't think parents should be allowed to bring babies to movie theatres. Get a babysitter or download the movie. Babies are cell phones you can't set on "vibrate".

The baby continued to cry for about twenty minutes before the father got up from his seat, child in tow. He didn't exit the auditorium, however. He went to stand in the aisleway near an entrance to the auditorium…where the baby continued to cry.

"Waahhh waahhh!"

"Shhh!"

"Waahhh waahhh!"

"Shhh!"

This father must be a die-hard X-Men fan, I thought. He must really want to see this movie.

Another third of the movie (with complimentary crying and shushing) passed. The audience was clearly disgruntled by now, but no one wanted to miss any of the movie to go complain, so we all sat there watching in bitter resignation.

Then…

"Waahhh waahhh!"

"Don't give up on them, Erik."

SMACK!

"waahhh…"

"Mankind has evolved since then."

SMACK!

[silence]

Doing it all for the X-Men — atta boy.

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