"It's the freakin' weekend, baby, and I'm gonna have me some fun. Bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce."
r. kelly – "ignition (remix)"

i went to coachella this past weekend with jord and MAH HERO.

i bet jord and tony that they couldn't make their way to the very front of the stage to see the beastie boys.

fuckers actually made it to the front of a reported crowd of 55,000.

i was about 20 feet behind them holding their b-boys merchandise. i figured, let the beastie marks have their fun. i have a pretty decent knowledge of their discography, but i barely know enough song lyrics to deserve (or want) to be up front. plus, j-rod and t-dog put up with me marking for blur earlier in the day. damon fuckin' played "girls and boys"! how cool is that?

anyway, the beasties basically played an hour-long set of their greatest hits remixed for the stage. it was one of the best live sets i've ever seen. i…actually found myself dancing, which is something that i…don't do. they even made that crappy anti-war song sound good.

seeing how euphoric jord and tony were after the beastie boys set made me kind of bitter though. i kept thinking to myself: why can't MY favorite band (soul coughing) fuckin' reunite so i can go crazy at the front of the stage too? why did they have to break up? blur was great, but i could die happy after witnessing a solid soul coughing set. i HAVE seen them once before, but it was a 25-minute set at live 105's "not so silent night" radio show back in 1998, just as i was getting into the band. i want to mark for MY mike d, goddammit! argh!

unfortunately, as with any festival, you miss some bands. on saturday, we waited two hours in line in sweltering heat to get inside, and i missed ben kweller because of that. also, due to scheduling conflicts, i missed ian mackaye, talib kweli, blue man group, ben folds, the mars volta, red hot chili peppers, interpol and rjd2.

…and that's why i'm going to field day!

…during finals week.

yeah, yeah, i don't have my priorities straight. tell me something new.

limited number of tickets and gradually increasing prices for a massive outdoor festival? ridiculous… i'm-a go to seattle instead.

N*E*R*D f. Spymob, Kenna + Kelly Osbourne

The Hives


Queens of the Stone Age

Ben Harper + The Innocent Criminals

Beastie Boys

Sonic Youth

Jack Johnson f. Mike Tyler of G. Love + Special Sauce

The White Stripes

Iggy + The Stooges
first performance together in 28 years

Second Annual J. Wilcox Birthday Bash Updated
The Animatrix
(First Public Theatrical Screening)

wed 05.14 @ grauman's egyptian theatre
followed immediately by

The Matrix Reloaded
(05.15 Midnight Screening)

across the street @ grauman's chinese theatre
then later the same day

Blade Runner (Original Release Version)
@ ucla's melnitz hall with curtis hanson (director of 8 mile) and christopher nolan (director of memento) in person

Time Management

chafboy: its his personalities
chafboy: its the movie that kaufman said couldnt be done, the personality movie
chafboy: hence the title, Identity
chafboy: motel is all mind
chafboy: the guy already is a serial killer, he's gonna be executed and is in custody
chafboy: but the cops want to know WHICH personality is doing the killing
chafboy: it was the little boy

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man | James Joyce

The Great Gatsby | F. Scott Fitzgerald


"Nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy and alcohol…"
queens of the stone age – "feel good hit of the summer"

Editor's Note: The following piece is true.

My friend Jose works for the San Francisco Chronicle. He's currently part of a team planning a new weekly tabloid insert to the paper geared toward the 18-30 demographic.

Jose: The working title is Chronic.
Jon: What?
Jose: Chronic. Short for Chronicle.
Jon: Are you serious? Do you understand the connotation of that word?
Jose: No.
Jon: It's slang for marijuana!
Jose: I've never heard that before. I like the title. It's catchy. We're going to spell it phonetically.
Jon: What?
Jose: Phonetically. C-R-O-N-I-C. Cronic.
Jon: Okay… The San Francisco Cronic. Way to win young readers. Is it going to be printed on rolling paper? Pink Zig Zags, perhaps?
Jose: What?
Jon: Nothing.
Jose: We're also giving each section of the tabloid a short, hip name. Business will be called Spent. Editorial will be called Rent. News will be called Blink.
Jon: What?
Jose: Blink. I don't like it. When I hear Blink, I think of Blink 182.
Jon: I…think it's retarded. "Hey dude, you see the Blink briefs in this week's Cronic?" Very hip.
Jose: I know, I know. I want to change the name to Scope.
Jon: Oh I wouldn't do that. When I hear Scope, I think of mouthwash.
Jose: Are you mocking me?
Jon: No, I'm just laughing AT you. This tabloid sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, Jose. My advice? Hire Drew Curtis as editor and Bronstein will get all the 18-30 year old readers he could possibly want.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns |
Frank Miller

Superman (1978)

Raising Victor Vargas

I met Mike Chapman, the cinematographer of Taxi Driver and Raging Bull (and camera operator of The Godfather) Saturday night.

I learned that Scorsese de-saturated the color of the blood in the shoot-out at the end of Taxi Driver to get an R-rating.

Taxi Driver


I finished booking the rest of my school year for the most part. I'm still working on securing time for the upcoming Elliott Smith show at UCLA and the out-of-state Sasquatch! and Field Day festivals. Everything would be a lot easier were I not stuck in school through mid-June. <3 quarter system. "It's gonna take a lot of time before I can cross that finish line."
ben kweller – "commerce, tx"

sat 04.26 + sun 04.27

English Drama To 1576 Midterm
wed 04.30

thu 05.01 @ mann bruin

fri 05.02 @ mann village

20th Century British Fiction Midterm
mon 05.05

The Italian Job
tue 05.06 @ ucla's ackerman grand ballroom

wed 05.07 @ ucla's melnitz hall

Daddy Day Care
fri 05.09

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring + The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Double Feature)
sat 05.10 @ ucla's melnitz hall

20th Century American Hero 2-Page Final Paper Prospectus Due
tue 05.13

Sweet Sixteen
tue 05.13 @ egyptian theatre

Second Annual J. Wilcox Hollywood Birthday Bash!
The Animatrix
(First Public Theatrical Screening)

wed 05.14 @ egyptian theatre
followed immediately by

The Matrix Reloaded
(05.15 Midnight Screening)

across the street @ grauman's chinese theatre
then later the same day

The Matrix Reloaded
@ mann village

The Matrix Reloaded
fri 05.16 @ mann village

Ted Leo + The Pharmacists
sat 05.17 @ the troubadour

The Sting
mon 05.19 @ samuel goldwyn theatre

English Drama to 1576 8-Page Paper Due
wed 05.21

Bruce Almighty
fri 05.23

The Godfather: Part II
tue 05.27 @ samuel goldwyn theatre

Finding Nemo
fri 05.30

20th Century British Fiction 10-Page Paper Due
mon 06.02

A Decade Under The Influence
thu 06.05 @ landmark nuart

The Eye (Jian Gui)
fri 06.06 @ landmark nuart

English Drama To 1576 Final
tue 06.10

20th Century British Fiction Final
wed 06.11

20th Century American Hero 20-Page Final Paper Due
thu 06.12

fri 06.13

I don't know how to drive stick.
I've never driven in southern California before.
Next weekend, I have to drive stick in southern California.
I suppose I could practice beforehand.
Of course, I'd need a car first.



MTV is heading over to Egypt for the hottest holiday this side of the equator featuring performances and appearances by: Pete Yorn, Monica Lewinsky, Kirk Douglas, Michael Douglas, Perry Farrell, Paula Abdul, Midtown and many others. Gideon kicks things off on Wednesday 04.16 with The Party of the Red Sea featuring Disturbed and Vanessa Carlton.

Check out all the kosher-rific shows:

Adam Sandler's Seder Management
Premiere: Wednesday 04.16
8:30 PM

Adam Sandler has 24 hours to plan the ultimate seder experience.

Fashionably Starving
Premiere: Wednesday 04.16
9:00 PM

Paula Abdul joins La La and Quddus to heeb up MTV's rocked out, high fashion catwalk with live performances by Pete Yorn, Midtown and MC Paul Barman.

Mr. Passover
Premiere: Wednesday 04.16
9:30 PM

Jewish men stretch their knowledge of the Torah in front of Mr. Personality host Monica Lewinsky to become the first Mr. Passover.

MTV Unleavened
Premiere: Thursday 04.17
8:00 PM

Track a group of Passover party animals as they indulge in the reading of the Haggadah.

Passover's Most Outrageous Moments
Premiere: Thursday 04.17
8:30 PM

It Runs in the Family's Kirk Douglas, Michael Douglas and Cameron Douglas reflect on all the madness that has gone down over the years during past Passovers.

"Remember when Pauly Shore hid the afikomen in his ass?"

Premiere: Thursday 04.17
9:00 PM

What happens when Creed singer Scott Stapp is told his first-born son was slain? Will he take the news well? Or will he get P_NK'D?

A Taildaters Passover
Premiere: Thursday 04.17
9:30 PM

Jewish students away from home are followed by overbearing family members with pagers. If the kids don't respect tradition, the Taildaters are ready to come in and save the day.

"Hold on. I got a page."

[checks pager]

"Why on this night do we eat bitter herbs? [groan] Mom!"

Howards End | E.M. Forster

Howards End

The Big Sleep | Raymond Chandler

The Big Sleep (1946)


"See, I could never be a fat guy. I'll tell you why. One simple reason. The first day I wake up and I can't see my dick, I STOP EATING!"
denis leary

Computer-generated girl and boy figures appear with bodies formed of action verbs such as "pass" and "slide." A girl figure jumps off a diving board and swims through water that is full of action words such as "twist," "run" and "jump." A voice-over says: "Everywhere you go, everywhere you look, there are verbs out there just waiting for you to get into." Tagline: "Verb: It's what you do."

Since last summer, I've seen these "verb" commercials on television without a clue as to what, exactly, they're trying to promote.

Grammar? "Noun: The other part of speech." I dunno…

This past Friday, I found out in the Wall Street Journal that these "verb" commercials are part of a $125 million marketing campaign launched by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to combat obesity among children.

I hope the CDC realizes that "eat" and "vegetate" are verbs too.

Poorly-conceived: It's what I think.

Subway commercials are more effective at combating obesity. At least they tell you to "eat fresh."

Anger Management

The City of Lost Children
(La Cité des Enfants Perdus)


"Why can't I be a one-sided know-it-all blowhard like everyone else?"
tony millionaire – maakies

[source comic]

Editor's Note: This piece appears in the April 14 edition of Adam Riff™ The Magazine.

Remember those white guys in high school who wanted to start a "white club" because other ethnicities had one?

Let the record show that teenagers are fucking idiots.

I don't think teenagers should be allowed to voice their opinions on the internet without first taking (and passing!) remedial classes in poli sci and forensics. I'm sick and tired of hearing stupid shit like this:

"If you don't like America and you live in America, get the fuck out."
just about every 16-year-old stoner with a website

Not only does an argument like that make its speaker come off poorly, it's also unsubstantiated and fails to account for potential counter-arguments. People may not like America because they can't GET A PROFESSIONAL JOB in our current shithole economy, which, the mainstream media and teenagers furthering their careers in food and retail seem to ignore.

But I digress.

"Boycott Dixie Chicks! Boycott Michael Moore! Boycott Pearl Jam! Kill the pig! Cut her throat! Bash her in!"

Has it occurred to anyone else that Americans have become the teenagers in Lord of the Flies, with the media in the role of Jack?

"Standing out here yelling 'rabble rabble rabble' isn't going to help anything."
the mayor of south park

[source sound clip]

Contrary to what the Fox News Channel believes, this "I'm proud, you're not" mob mentality is a disservice to our country. What are we fighting for in Iraq, if not the right of silly people (and yes, teenagers) to speak their minds? Fighting for freedom abroad while shaming it at home makes us hypocrites. Where are all the "proud to be hypocritical" bumper stickers?

To ostracize, or not to ostracize, that is the question.

"George W. Bush is a Hitler-loving faggot ass corporate cocksucker, not my President. My President ain't no nigger-executing spic-employing cowboy QUEEEEEER!"
jon yu

I await the considerable drop in hits tomorrow.


My classes for spring quarter were dropped the weekend before spring quarter started because of an accounting error. I managed to salvage two classes I had originally enrolled in and settled with the best of the worst of what was still open for a third class.

The stipulation to re-enroll in the seminar was that I would have to give my required presentation (worth 30% of my grade) this Tuesday…on the subject of cowboys. The other person on the wait list was assigned a presentation on Superman during fourth week. I'm really not thrilled about presenting first and gambling a third of my grade on my knowledge of fuckin' cowboys, but if anything, I'll be able to get it over early, and get away with jokes about homosexuals in an academic setting.

I'm going to Phoenix on 04.25.

Phone Booth



"Our study found no positive relationship between increasing minority population in a university and educational experience, except in the case of Asians."
stanley rothman – director for the center for the study of social and political change at smith college

[source article]

Rothman said the study found that when the Asian university population increased, be it faculty or students, university officials reported an improvement in educational experience. However, in the case of all other minorities, the study found no benefit. Rothman did not say why Asian students had a different effect on educational experience.


Better Luck Tomorrow
limited release fri 04.11

Four Asian American high school students use their overachievement as a cover for all sorts of delinquent activity. Like Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Better Luck Tomorrow awkwardly switches from comedy to drama halfway through. Whether you find the movie thought provoking depends on whether you can accept the presence of a buried corpse in a coming-of-age movie. I couldn't. I thought the comedy part, playing off the traditional lives of Asian teenagers, was far more successful than the pulp drama.

"On Monday, the Bruin Republicans made a bold political statement on Bruin Walk, which the Daily Bruin chose to ignore. Our Affirmative Action Bake Sale was intended to drive home to students the absurdity of deciding college admissions by race through the pricing structure of the cookies we were selling. The structure per cookie was: 25 cents for black, Latina and American Indian female students; 50 cents for black, Latino and American Indian males; $1.00 for white females; and $2.00 for white males and all Asian Americans."
andrew jones – president of bruin republicans

[source article]

The "peg" was the Michigan affirmative action case placed on the Supreme Court docket.

Supreme Court hearings on affirmative action began this week which could rewrite the rules on the extent to which race can be a factor in admissions to colleges and universities.

The case was brought by three white students who challenged the University of Michigan's policy of considering race as one factor among many in the way it selects its students.

Michigan and its law school give extra credit to ethnic minority applicants, as well as to applicants from low income backgrounds and to those from underrepresented states.

The university argues that a diverse student body is a goal that benefits all students. The plaintiffs argue they were denied a place at the university because they are white.
Two sets of admissions at the university are involved — in the case of undergraduates, black, Hispanic and Native American applicants get 20 extra points out of a possible 150 points under a selection index that considers academic, test scores and other factors including race.

In the law school, the admissions process does not involve a point system, but the university seeks the enrollment of a "critical mass" of minority students, which has ranged between 10% and 17% of each class.

Affirmative action boils down to two issues: opportunity and diversity.

Proponents argue that ethnic minority applicants and applicants from low income backgrounds do not have easy access to the test prep classes and tutors and extracurricular activities usually afforded to their middle- and upper-class counterparts. Thus, the college application of an ethnic minority or low-income-background student may not reflect his or her full potential.

Moreover, proponents argue that a diverse student body benefits all students, begetting a wider range of thoughts and views for academic discussion.

I don't have a problem with the principles behind affirmative action; I have a problem with its consequences.

If a university plays favorites, will its beneficiaries appreciate its efforts and make the most of their acceptance? Or were qualified candidates rejected so that some black and Hispanic kids could skip class and get fucked up every other day?

In addition, studies show that high school students tend to associate with people of the same ethnicity or economic background. This is not a rule, but more often than not, it is the case. I don't know why people think college is some magical harmonious melting pot. In my experience, students continue to associate predominantly with people of the same ethnicity or economic background.

The Supreme Court can debate all it wants about affirmative action as an admission factor, but I think the real issue is how admitted students regard affirmative action. The law says that 21 is the legal drinking age and that marijuana is illegal. Do college students respect these laws? No. Just because the law says that affirmative action will increase academic diversity and provide academic opportunities for ethnic minorities and low-income-background students does not mean that it will necessarily happen. The success of affirmative action depends on the cooperation of affected students. Are the affirmative action beneficiaries making an effort to better themselves? Likewise, are the rest of the students making an effort to embrace and exploit the diverse student body? Laws and policies only work if their subjects accept them.

The solution is simple: let schools that employ affirmative action go on employing it but have them track the academic and social progress of their students. Statistics. If you see results, let them keep affirmative action. If you don't, make them throw it out. It can't be any simpler than that.


First Quarter Theatre Report 2003
happy 18th birthday to my favorite self-hating reckless youth!



Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

The Pianist

City of God (Cidade de Deus)


Shanghai Knights (2)

Dog Soldiers

Daredevil (2)

Old School

Bubba Ho-tep

Cradle 2 the Grave



The Animatrix: Final Flight of the Osiris


Cowboy Bebop: The Movie
limited release fri 04.04

What the world needs now is a movie involving Arabs, bioterrorism and a metropolis. The soundtrack is unintentionally hilarious. Japanese music group "Seatbelts" composed several pop songs in English and the lyrics are all about having sex — deflowering women in particular.

Early Second Quarter Highlights:
the much-hyped asian american mtv film
Better Luck Tomorrow
wed 04.02 @ ucla's melnitz hall
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
fri 04.18 @ egyptian theatre
sat 04.19 @ egyptian theatre | cinematographer vilmos zsigmond in person
Taxi Driver (brand new 35 mm print)
sat 04.19 @ egyptian theatre | cinematographer michael chapman in person