Acoustic Catharsis

jon@adamriff.com

I've been wearing the same pair of pants for the last month or so. I find myself going days at a time without changing shirts. In fact, I haven't changed out of my current outfit for five days now. I don't sleep anymore. Sometimes, I forget to shower. I think I may take school more seriously than anyone else I know. I picked the wrong major. Well, I didn't pick it, I was kinda forced into it, and I'll accept it, but it's just so work-intensive for a generic major. So much reading. I don't have time to have fun. Wait, I don't know how to have fun. School is fun! I sound so Asian. I'm a social anxiety wreck. I spend way too much time alone in my room. I turn 21 in October. I'm getting old. I graduate college in December. I need to stop masturbating so much. I need to start taking responsibility. I need to plan my future. I need a car. I mean, I REALLY need a car. I want to go to grad school. I want a masters degree in Com Sci. I suck at programming though. Can English undergrads even master in CS? I wish I could spend my life playing chess with computers like Garry Kasparov. I need to take the GRE. I need to find time to study for the GRE. I need teacher recommendations too, but how do you get good ones in a giant impersonal university environment? I wonder if my cumulative GPA is good enough. I hope 3.46 isn't too low. I wonder what my major GPA is. Am I even a good student? I feel like I'm in high school all over again, without the lure of underage drinking. But I don't drink. Correction: I don't like to drink. I'm not straight-edge. Alcohol makes me feel crappy. I took two finals today. I'm done with finals. Spring break starts early for me. If I drank, I'd probably be really drunk right now, but then I'd just feel crappier than usual, having taken those two finals today. Meanwhile, U Mich gets out in a month. Stupid semester system. I got my Hamlet paper back. I got an A-minus. The only grades I seem to get nowadays are A-minuses. Hey, I'm not complaining, considering the effort I put in, but it'd be nice to get the full 4.0 points for once. An A-minus is the equivalent of having a large, crooked penis. I'm tired. My eyes hurt. My nose is runny. This piece belongs in a LiveJournal. I can't wait to get out of sunny California and go someplace where it's cold and depressing.

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