The Bush administration Friday raised the national terror alert from yellow to orange, the second-highest level in the color-coded system. Attorney General John Ashcroft cited an "increased likelihood" that the al-Qaida terror network would attack Americans, either at home or abroad.
"We are not recommending that events be canceled," nor should individuals change their travel, work or recreational plans, Ashcroft said.
"Okay, class. Next week, we're gonna learn fractions. Yeah… Plus, I think I just might anally rape one of you. Anyway, have a nice weekend!"