Jon | Rory | Anthony From the home office in Palo Alto, California, the top 2002 things I learned in 2002: 20. My body is a wonderland. 19. Even the Angels have no use for Tony Danza anymore. 18. There is still hope. 17. First,…
Date Archives December 2002
oh. my. slanted-eyed surprise.
guest poster: ty camp of funkyfresh.net fame Adolescence — half my waking life spent locked behind the bathroom door. Through a world of matted handkerchiefs and crumpled Kleenex and stained pajamas, I move my raw and swollen penis, perpetually in dread that my loathsomeness will…
all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others
Jram Royal: you fucking californians think you're the god damn kings of the fucking world Our Lady Peace is one of my favorite bands. I fell in love with them in 1997 when KOME started playing "Superman's Dead" and we've been together ever since. Lucky…
everything sucks
A lot of people will accuse me of bias, but the evidence is overwhelming. Four consecutive issues of Spin each had a feature article referencing Detroit. October: cover story on The White Stripes. November: feature on bouncers at St. Andrew's Hall. December: cover story on…
oliver spencer
Apparently, the Matrix Reloaded script leaked. From what I know about the movie and the photos I've seen, it seems like the real thing. If it's not, then someone needs to get a job. I was at my computer today doing nothing when I heard…
the smell of hospitals in winter
My boss gave me a $30 Best Buy gift card for Christmas and now I don't know what to do. Do I get him a gift a return? How does reciprocity work in this case? If he was my co-worker, I'd get him a gift,…
no sensitivity
I saw a commercial for another lame VH1 awards show and it had some rapper voice-over rapping about things that were "big in 2002," things like…Greta Van Susteren's makeover. One line in the rap that caught my attention states: "Star Wars flopped so f*ck Darth…
i can dance if i want to, i can shoot the president
At the end of high school, I attended the Senior Awards ceremony and was surprised to see in the program that I would be receiving the Yale Book Award. I believe three Ivy League Book Awards exist: the Harvard Book Award, the Yale Book Award,…
drunks against mothers driving
Why is it that the day before Thanksgiving, the top story on every local news broadcast, regardless of what's going on in the world, is always that lots of people are leaving town? Why is this news? Thanksgiving is the next day! Of course the…
there is no spoon
from "how to tell a true war story" by tim o'brien You can tell a true war story by the questions you ask. Somebody tells a story, let's say, and afterward you ask, "Is it true?" and if the answer matters, you've got your answer….