stuffed in a coffin 10% more free

Oi. I'm so tired. The cook must have basted the turkey in NyQuil and stuffed it with horse tranquilizers.

For the second year in a row, I spent Thanksgiving away from home. Last year, I had to stay in Los Angeles for a Weezer show the day after Thanksgiving, so my family drove down from the Bay Area to spend the holiday with me and my incredibly rich cousins. This year, I didn't start looking for cheap plane tickets until it was too late (re: August), and I'd be crazy to spend $250 to visit some place for two or three days. Oh wait…

My parents said that if I was gonna stay in Los Angeles for Thanksgiving, I should at least have dinner with some family friends who were driving down to spend time with their parents and daughter who attends UCSD and grew into a noice set of tits since I last saw her.

Is it a rule that every Thanksgiving, some network has to air Home Alone? I always find myself watching that movie. This Thanksgiving, I also saw Home Alone 2 on one of the many HBO channels. When Home Alone 2 came out, I thought it was more entertaining than the original. I was 10. Watching it again as a 20-year-old intellectual, I realized how mean-spirited it is for a Christmas movie. It was kinda painful to watch Harry and Marv suffer the whimsical wrath of Macaulay Culkin. Bricks, a staple gun, jumper cables, gasoline — that's awfully violent stuff for a kid to be subjecting adults to, even if they may be criminals. They're still human beings, after all.

Near the end of the movie, Kevin climbs down from the roof of the gimmicked house using a kerosene-soaked rope and then sets said rope afire as Harry and Marv use it to climb down from the roof in pursuit of him. If Kevin just climbed down using a kerosene-soaked rope, wouldn't his hands and clothing have traces of kerosene on them? And wouldn't he burn himself as well in setting fire to the rope? John Hughes obviously did not think this out.

I actually got teary-eyed during the scene in which Kevin reunites with his mother in front of the Rockefeller Center tree. Yeah, I got teary-eyed. Like Ja Rule, I'm man enough to admit that I cry.

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