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Jon | Rory | Anthony

My family drove down from the Bay Area this past weekend and we attended a family wedding and spent the night at a conference resort in Industry Hills.

I think weddings should have themes, like bar mitzvahs, to ease boredom. For example: a "magic" wedding. Assisted by five lovely bride's maids, minister Lance Burton could make the bride and groom appear at the altar out of nowhere and then swallow the wedding rings only to have them re-appear in the pocket of the unwitting ring-bearer.

When I get married (stop laughing), I want to have a wrestling-themed wedding (I said, "stop laughing"). I want to get married at the Dunkin' Donuts Center in Providence, RI. I want to walk down a ramp surrounded by pyrotechnics while speakers blast a cover of Pachelbel's "Canon" by the band Saliva. I want the bride's maids dressed in matching baby blue bras and panties and the ushers in black singlets. I want to pose in the ring while family and friends cheer and show off giant signs glorifying my future wife and I. I want Eric Bischoff as the minister. And instead of kissing to consecrate the marriage, I want to pin my wife in the middle of the ring. 1-2-3.

True story: I had a dream the night I slept in Industry Hills. I go to class and see on Mrs. Vosovic's class planner that we're gonna watch Untitled Detroit Project/Detroit (working title: 8 Mile) in class on Wednesday and freak. Fast forward to Wednesday. I'm excited, I go to class, the movie starts playing on the overhead screen, and I proceed to dream the movie — dialogue, cinematography and all. So I'm enjoying 8 Mile in my head when my dad decided to wake me up. He wanted to go home, but I kept fighting to stay asleep because I wanted see what happens at the end of my dream! My dad then pushed me off the bed, snapping me outta my trance and leaving me lying on the floor sporting morning wood, extremely bitter that he cut short my night with Marshall.

The 8 Mile premiere's gonna take place down the street from where I live. Hehehe.

Look, if you had one shot…or one opportunity…to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment, would you capture it…or just let it slip?

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