Jon | Rory | Anthony

Too tough to call.

St. Louis fans, all is not lost. You still have the Rams.

What must Nelly think?

The San Francisco Giants and the Anaheim Angels will play each other in the 2002 World Series. The question is: Will anyone watch an all-California World Series?

Absolutely not.

Most Americans are lukewarm on baseball, and with the Yankees out of contention, east coast fans have little reason to stay up and watch October's most magical match-up. The seven-game forecast calls for smog, fog and low ratings.

Hell if I care. The Giants are in the World Series! Whoo! Don't like it? Miss Grounded For Life? Suck on this:

As you can see, the geography of my state is an aesthetic representation of its hubris. Fuck all y'all east coasters, with your "snow", and your…live television!

Cali, it hurts! [pause] Don't shoot me…

If the Angels are tied or trail a game in the sixth inning or later and get a runner on base, footage of the "Rally Monkey" appears on Edison Field screens, and the crowd goes wild in hopes of a rally.

Apparently, the system works.

Now that the Angels are in the World Series, every Major League Baseball team wants to capitalize on a rally mascot of its own. Considering the history of baseball, I know exactly what I'd show on stadium screens to motivate my players: