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Jon | Rory | Anthony

WARNING: The following piece contains gross generalizations, inside jokes, and region-specific references. Enjoy at your own discretion.


"The trip to Detroit along I-75 takes you between the dense gray spires of an oil refinery and the old petrochemical facility Zug Island, a lump of toxins that ranks among the most polluted spots in the U.S. Downtown, the train station on Michigan Avenue is a giant shell of concrete and broken glass. The clock on the CPA Building has been stuck at 10:55 for years. Fifteen hundred properties are officially designated for destruction, with nearly 10,000 more abandoned and deemed 'dangerous,' looming ruins from the most notorious white flight of the last century. It's as close to a ghost town as any American city gets. In other words, it's fucking cool."
— Chuck Klosterman in the November 2002 issue of Spin


series finale



I see a lot of people wearing U of M merchandise around UCLA. Most people, of course, wear UCLA merchandise, a few have Berkeley or SD shit, and then there's this noticeable contingent of people representing for the University of Michigan. I can't explain it. The only connection I can make between the two schools is that Asian people from California flock to both their engineering programs.

Not one to be myself, I went and bought a Michigan hoodie, and I love it. In fact, when I recently went to renew my driver's license, I wore it at the photo booth so that in the future, when I write a check or get pulled over by a cop, they'll say, "Oh. You went to U of M?" and I can say, "HELL NO!!! I WENT TO UCLA, MUTHAFUCKA!"

Photos!


Decisions, decisions


"Dump your GameCube. What you need is a Game BOY!" said Matt to Jon Wilcox


Wilcox and his mom


"Get your own weed, Jram."


Nobody told Robert that his girlfriend was on her period


OOH these bitches are hot!


Something bad happens to Jon Yu's penis


Tony and Jord get ready for school


"Trade you clothes!" / "Okay."


Group photo

Closing Comments
My final impression of Michigan? Well, Robert was taking us to Detroit Metro and we had just passed the Roeper School for Albino Hemophiliacs when I spotted the only car in Michigan with an Arizona license plate on it in the other lane. Robert honked and got Jordan's attention and asked him what he was doing driving around Birmingham during school hours and he replied, "I just went to Roeper to steal all their pencils."

[pause]

Yeah. That was my final impression.

You sure about that? Because my final impression of Michigan was having to explain to airport security why my friend tried to steal the defibrillator on the wall of the Southwest terminal.

Haha. I forgot about that.

Haha, my ass! We almost didn't make it on the plane because of you!

Presentation
The combination of poor FMVs, zero story value, poor character design, and a "vacation" theme is rather a shocker. The focus was clearly on gameplay only.
6.0
Graphics
It's fast and furious, but still has some so-so background work. That said, most of the up-close visuals are great, but past that everything is average.
8.0
Sound
Gets the job done, but not very well. Tony's impromptu song parodies prove more annoying than catchy. Decent selection of cute sound effects.
6.0
Gameplay
Single-player mode gets old pretty fast, but the multiplayer mode is forever brilliant.
9.0
Lasting Appeal
15 hours and you're probably done. It's satisfying while it lasts, but people will still want more. The multiplayer mode is great, but doesn't totally make up for the single's decidedly short run. Only the most hardcore of fans will play through it twice.
8.0
OVERALL SCORE (not an average) 8.5

the end
thanks to nadia, colin, the wankers, and jon wilcox for making this series possible
coming soon: adam riff™ vs. japan and seattle

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