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I have an e-mail account.

Hello, i'm your number one fan! and i miss the cows with testacle propellors. won't you say hi to me.

Sweet sassy molassy. He's back.

Martin.

My self-proclaimed number one fan.

Martin was a freshman when I was a senior in high school. I sat behind him in orchestra. He's probably the weirdest person I've ever met. Really funny, but also really funny in the head. At one point during the school year, he decided that he was my number one fan and whenever he would see me on campus, he would yell out my name repeatedly.

JON YUUUUU! JON YUUUUU! JON YUUUUU!

A game of Mountain View High School hide and seek ensued. I avoided him as much as possible and ran like whoa when he saw me; he got off on chasing me down and…yelling my name.

Now he has my e-mail address.

do you really think that i cross the line of stalker hood? i consulted with my fellow "followers of mightily ingenious" members and we think that i have not crossed the line. merely erased it and painted it a mile in your direction. may the allmighty sperm god "maximus penisimus spermiscus boobsaregoodicus" bless your shiny hair cut and those blessed goggles you wear called glasses.

I…I don't know what to say.

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