June 29. I gotta get in shape now. Too much sitting has ruined my body. Too much abuse has gone on for too long. From now on, it'll be 50 push-ups each morning. 50 pull-ups. There will be no more pills. There will be no…

Read More

I saw a commercial for the Game Boy Advance in which a doctor notices his patient playing a game called Frogger's Adventures and on the screen of a GBA is Frogger jumping from platform to platform in a forest collecting what look like coins. Since…

Read More

I was in the DVD section of the Virgin Megastore in San Francisco on Wednesday searching for "vital titles" (25% off!) when I happened to peer over the shoulder of a guy dressed in a navy uniform standing in front of a display rack that…

Read More

A while back, I said that I wanted a Taco Bell in my future house. If Tommy Lee can contact the Starbucks company and get permission to set up a Starbucks in his house, replete with official Starbucks equipment and supplies, then I can have…

Read More

I love animals.

Nowadays, most people have digital cable or satellite television, systems that feature hundreds of channels, 30 or so of which are neatly categorized digital music channels (rock, rap, etc.) that have no picture and just play their respective music all day. Does anybody actually watch,…

Read More

I'm home. My parents gave away my car. It's been quite a week. Last Tuesday, I received a phone call. Winston: Jon! It's for you! Jon: Who is it? Winston: Jord. JORD? What the fuck? Uhhh…okay… I picked up the phone. Jon: …Hello? "Jord": Hey,…

Read More

"letters to g_d"

"Use Dreamweaver to make art." [sigh] my final project for film/tv 145: creative authoring for the world wide web The show's not over until the monkey masturbates.

Nothing is funnier than an angry Phil Jackson. Can you believe that this guy is one year away from having an NBA championship ring for each finger? Bling bling indeed. I met a girl yesterday. I asked her for some happy news, but she just…

Read More