it's my duty to please that booty

"it's what we're all about"

at the Saturday Night Live writer's meeting…
Lorne: The Rock is hosting this week. How can we use him to be funny?
Tina: I know! Let's put him in a bunch of skits that compromise his masculinity and have him sing a lot. It'll be hi-larious!

Dave Meltzer:
"For some reason, there didn't seem to be the buzz on Rock's Saturday Night Live appearance [Saturday] night as the first one two years back. I saw most of the show and my gut tells me this guy is going to be the talk of Hollywood in just a few days. Based on the early reviews, it sounds like the movie will do huge box office (actually it would have opened huge just based on the hype with bad reviews) and nobody is making fun of Rock's acting. Not that he didn't have the natural acting ability to start with because even in his early non-wrestling TV appearances a few years ago he came off fine, but he seemed so much improved last night. When I read people saying next Schwarzenegger about him, it is just such an amazing position to be in."

Andrew W.K. should make a workout video.

Andrew: Okay, everybody. Bend over and touch your toes with your hair! All together now…


My friends and I bought tickets to the 2002 MTV Movie Awards. Correction: my friend Paul bought the tickets for us. Balcony seats, to be exact. What the fuck, Paul? How do you expect me to meet Eminem sitting in the fuckin' balcony seats of the Shrine Auditorium? I'll have to do something about this. Drastic measures are in order. I didn't spend $50 (plus ridiculously exorbitant Ticketmaster "convenience" charges) to gawk at celebrities from afar. No, I WILL be on the floor for the show.

Fred Durst on Making the Video: "My passion is film." That explains everything.

No good can come from being on a submarine in a movie.

If you find yourself on a spacecraft in a movie, get to know the oldest guy on board because later on, he will sacrifice his life to save the rest of the crew.

Always be wary of a movie whose marketing campaign refers to its stars as Academy Award® winners or worse, Academy Award® nominees.


Blue Man Group is searching for performers for upcoming productions in Los Angeles this week.

requirements:
between 5'10" and 6'1" tall (check)
male or female (check)
excellent acting skills (check)
willingness to relocate (check)
athletic build (it passes)
excellent drumming skills (does having carpal tunnel syndrome count?)

I think I'm-a audition. Yellow man wants to be blue man now.


I live in Westwood, CA. It's the place where Spike Jonze filmed the video for Fatboy Slim's "Praise You."

Yeah. That's Westwood. Most 20th Century Fox movies have their premieres at the renowned Village theater you see in the background and usually end up playing there as well.

The Mann theatre chain, which owns the two theaters that appear in the "Praise You" video, is now hiring, and I'm seriously considering applying for a low-paid job with them.

Why would I ever work for a movie theater?

Because in a month, 20th Century Fox has a little movie coming out and I dunno if I'll have time to camp out to see a midnight screening at the second most famous movie theater in southern California. Unlike the rest of collegiate America, I'll still be in school during the month of May. Best to cheat my way in instead…and possibly steal the movie print while I'm at it.

Too bad my dad doesn't work for a newspaper and can smuggle me into free advance screenings of highly-anticipated summer movies (cough, Bruno, cough).


Good news. Dobi agreed to sell me rare prints of his genius (to me) illustration series "Cringe" for $5 each. 16 prints x $5 = $80 plus shipping, but I think it's a reasonable investment because I lost a dear (albeit sick and twisted) friend in the "Cringe" series last year when Dobi took it offline. I'm not gonna let it happen again. My favorite illustrations are one of Hitler receiving oral sex from a dog and one of a guy sitting on a toilet drinking his own excrement through a straw.

still reading: Jane Eyre

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