"i made it out of clay"
If there's one thing you can expect from an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie – aside from him either playing an ex-cop, coming from the future, living in the future, or making excruciatingly bad jokes – it's that at least one catchphrase is guaranteed. While only a select few have entered the lexicon – "I'll be back"; "Hasta la vista, baby" – almost every movie he's ever made has been packed with worthy contenders. Is it in his contract? His new movie, Collateral Damage, is an ostensibly serious topical thriller in which Arnold takes the law into his own hands to bring a terrorist to justice; while it remains to be seen if "You're gonna pay for that" will catch on with anyone at all, we took a look back at Arnold's previous zingers and realized just how interchangeable they are. In fact, not all of what follows is real. This may be a rhetorical question, but: Can you tell the difference?
1. Pumping Iron (1977): Arnold made his film debut in this documentary about the Mr. Olympia competition, in which he discusses the joys of working out and his desire to be as famous as Jesus Christ.
A "It's as satisfying as coming, as having sex with a woman and coming. I am coming day and night."
B "I've thrown up many times working out, but it's all worth it."
C "I have the cleanest urine of anyone."
2. The Terminator (1984): In one of his most famous roles, Arnold is a virtually indestructible robot sent from the future to kill the mother of his yet-to-be-born nemesis.
A "Consider yourself terminated."
B "I'll be back."
C "How's this for an ending?"
3. Commando (1985): Arnold is a retired Army colonel who single-handedly hunts the terrorists who have kidnapped daughter Alyssa Milano.
A "My gun is much, much bigger than yours."
B "Remember when I promised to kill you last? I lied."
C "I am going commando right now!"
4. Twins (1988): Arnold goes for laughs as the twin brother of the very diminutive, out-of-shape Danny DeVito, to whom all these lines are addressed.
A "But you are so small, and I am so big."
B "We both flushed at the same time – before we did it!"
C "I crap bigger than you."
5. The Last Action Hero (1993): Arnold plays both himself and on-screen cop Jack Slater in this action-movie parody in which the movies collide with real life.
A "Does this suck weenie, or what?"
B "I will hit my mark, and then I will hit you."
C "I can't wait for the sequel."
6. Junior (1994): Another comedy with DeVito, in which Arnold becomes pregnant.
A "My nipples are very sensitive."
B "Does my body disgust you?"
C "My body, my choice."
7. Batman & Robin (1995): The quintessential Arnold movie – the entire script consists solely of one-liners. Arnold plays the aptly named villain Mr. Freeze.
A "The Iceman cometh."
B "What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age."
C "Allow me to break the ice."
8. End of Days (1999): Apocalyptic good-versus-evil thriller; Arnold is an alcoholic ex-cop who must save New York City from Satan.
A "The devil made me do it."
B "Between your faith, and my Glock nine-millimeter, I'll take my Glock."
C "This is New York City – we are already in hell."
9. The 6th Day (2000): Arnold discovers he has been cloned against his will and now there are two Arnolds on the loose.
A "I might be back."
B "There has never been anything like what I have become."
C "You cloned the wrong man."
1. A & B
9. A & C
Thank you, Bowman Hastie.
[source: Spin, December 2000]