fuck this shit

"this is the last time we do movie reviews"

7
storytelling
re: two separate stories ("fiction" and "non-fiction") set against the sadly comical terrain of college and high school, past and present, explore issues of sex, race, celebrity and exploitation
jon says: [clears throat]
"what is rape?"
"rape is when you love someone…and they don't love you…and you do something about it."
"i don't think my parents love me."
"well, when you grow up, you can do something about it."
what can i say? prepare to be perturbed by this devilishly engaging slice of politically incorrect american life. director todd solondz gets you laughing before you have time to take in the full awfulness of what it is he has you laughing at, be it a giant red box placed over a teacher and his student having almost pornographic, rough, barely consensual, bi-racial sex (hooray for censorship) or a twisted satire of the american beauty version of suburban toxicity. oh and the boy in the movie, jonathan osser, turns in a breakthrough performance as fifth-grader mikey, a sadistic little fucker with delusions of grandeur
rory says: did john goodman and dan aykroyd sign an exclusive deal with hollywood to alternate playing the father character in every single movie?
bonus: apparently, they cut an entire hour of the movie, including a controversial scene where james van der beek engages in a homosexual sex act. saturday night live's "weekend update" riffed on the report: "when asked for comment, van der beek said, 'they were filming that?'"

9
to die for
re: suzanne stone is an aspiring television personality who will do anything to be in the spotlight, including enlisting three teenagers to kill her husband
jon says: one part documentary, one part memento, director gus van sant's memorable black comedy transcends most movies dealing with the issue of celebrity by exhibiting a general restraint in presentation, at least for bleak cinema. take note when suzanne blasts the song "all by myself" at her husband's funeral or when out of nowhere, billy (joaquin phoenix) says, "any time it rains, or when there's thunder and lightning, or when it snows, i have to jack off"
rory says: the joaquin phoenix character looks like mr. blingo
jon: dude, you think everyone looks like him.
rory: not true! i don't think nate looks like scott baio.
jon: how would you know whether or not nate looks like scott baio? when was the last time you saw scott baio in a movie or on television?
rory: uhhh…
jon: people change over time. scott baio's 40-something now. what if he no longer looks like the scott baio we used to love and now looks like nate?
rory: [pause] you're a real asshole, you know that?

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