everybody needs a 303

"check this out"

Barber: What'll it be for you today?
Jon: Gimme a bad haircut.
Barber: I'm sorry. Did you just say that you wanted a bad haircut?
Jon: Yes. I worry that people might not understand what I've tried to be, and if I were to be smart, Mr. Barber, I would want someone to fuck up my hair. Hold the trimmer and pretend that you have carpal tunnel syndrome, because there's nothing that I detest more than guys who care about their hair, who actually waste time doing their hair in the morning. And if you understand me, Mr. Barber, you…you will do this for me.
Barber: Errr, okay. It's YOUR head… One bad haircut comin' right up.

My mom bought me a hair trimmer because I was tired of paying a barber $11 to shave my head, and while a coupla my UC Berkeley hippie buddies were visiting today, I decided to break in my new found follicular contrivance. "Cut my hair however you want," I told them. "Even a mullet will do."

They gave me a half-ass wintertime mohawk. Now, my hair grows straight out counterclockwise and wasn't that long to begin with and my cowlick remains, so the "mohawk" looks super retarded and I feel really really stupid. Oh well. Good times.

a porno movie doubleheader idea…

black cock down
tagline: "leave no man's behind"
double entendre quote: "nobody wants to be a hero. it just sometimes turns out that way"

a bootyful mind
tagline: "he saw the world in a way no one could have imagined"
double entendre quote: "i need to believe that something extraordinary is possible"

both movies "coming soon"

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