Black Gass, Cleveland Steamer

Can two dumpy guys on acoustic guitars performing songs with titles like "Fuck Her Gently" and "Kielbasa Sausage" draw a responsive audience? Apparently, yes. Wednesday night, in front of an sold-out hometown crowd, Tenacious D made a case for why they just might be the greatest rock band on earth. Now, I witnessed the D this summer at a radio show in New Jersey, but they were only allotted a 25-minute set. Tonight, however, Jack Black (yes, the actor) and Kyle Gass commanded the stage for two fuckin' hours and boy, rock and roll could never ever hip hop like this. Human power plant Black ringlead a raucous circus of music, comedy, and frat boy fun that was definitely not intended for uncool people.

The highlight of the night was a little play narrated by Black involving a sidehand dressed in a sasquatch costume featuring a floppy dick and another sidehand dressed as Osama Bin Laden. After Osama blew a bunch of anthrax in the sasquatch's face, the sasquatch, invulnerable to anthrax, knocked down Osama and proceeded to make Bin Laden suck his floppy dick, at which point fake semen started flying all over the stage and into the audience. As if that wasn't enough, the sasquatch then decided to shit on Osama, and while people were still figuring out how fake semen could ejaculate with such velocity out of a floppy costume dick, lo and behold, fake shit came down on Osama straight from the sasquatch's ass region. Whoo!

The Naked Trucker (Dave Allen) and his "midwestern" buddy Gerald (David Koechner) opened. You may remember the Naked Trucker as the counselor on Freaks and Geeks and yes, he was naked on stage. The duo played an idiot savant routine to remarkable effect, especially with a hick cover of Snoop Dogg's "Gin and Juice." Finally, a watchable opening act.

What can I say? $20 went a long way tonight. I mean, on top of the orgasm of a show, I sat a row behind "Weird Al" Yankovic and Joey Slotnick (Boston Public) and saw Bob Odenkirk (Mr. Show) in the theater lobby. How cool is that? Plus, when I was in the bathroom takin' a piss and gettin' a contact high, I ran into none other than Andy Dick, who I've seen in person before, but not with this male mommy figure he had following him around. Seriously.

"Andy, wash your hands!"

"Do I have to?"

"YES."

Anyway, I secured tickets today to go see Weezer, Tenacious D, and Jimmy Eat World (all artists who I've already seen multiple times this year) again during Thanksgiving at the Long Beach Arena. I noticed that a one Mr. Warplayer will also be in attendance. Goodie goodie… I'll have to remember to bring a lighter so I can hunt him down and set his hair on fire.

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