One night, a fat black homeless guy is rummaging through a dumpster when he finds a magic lamp. Naturally, he rubs it, "it" referring to the lamp. Out pops a genie. "You have released me. I shall now grant you three wishes." "Three wishes? Aight….
Date Archives September 2001
What is it about the latest M&Ms ads?
Ahem. It's becoming frustrating to write material for tomorrow today. I don't want to live for tomorrow anymore. That is, I don't like saying "yesterday" when I mean "today." A post may have today's date, but I always write yesterday, talking about yesterday. Okay, I've…
Numan Gives Me Funny Looks
I'm so bored at home. Everybody's in school already. UCLA just has to be fashionably late. [sigh] In fact, I was so bored yesterday that I watched Raw Is War twice, first the east coast live feed on DirecTV and then the west coast delay…
Standing in the Middle of Yesterday
i'm not waiting for the answers on a sunday afternoon i'm just too drunk to remember why i always slip through the drugs and fake ambition have been helping me to hide but it's the endless television that has kept me inside where does it…
I Believe I Can Fly
Well, my attempt to exploit the "9-1-1 crashes" was a total flop. How am I supposed to win the Pulitzer Prize for investigative cynicism now? I've taken shits more eventful than what happened yesterday. Added security measures, my ass. I don't think having the scary…
Superman's Dead
It appears that my childhood wish that people would stop laughing at me finally came true. Offensive… Tasteless… Here we go again. [sigh] I just can't win. I don't know what to say. I stand by what I wrote this week because I don't know…
kill what we found, hate what they fear, make it go away, make it disappear
Consider the fact that Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too Many will tell you otherwise Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too I bet you trust your bank Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too Just wait until it tanks Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too Your parents had it planned…
The Day the Whole World Went Away
I suppose now isn't the best time to talk stocks. Well, well, well. What can I say? Michael Jordan should NOT return to professional basketball. Oh and we got reamed yesterday. It was the worst attack on American soil since the release of Pearl Harbor…