"The French phrase 'le petit mort' translated literally into English means 'the little death.' In French, however, 'le petit mort' means 'orgasm.' So, the next time somebody tells you that they want to die in your arms, watch out."

This opener was brought to you by my English TA.

Good news! I'm a fuckin' dumbass for believing that I could elude the curse of the Los Angeles sell-out. Yesterday, I checked and tickets were still available for this Sunday's Manipulated Sounds Seminar featuring DJ QBert, Money Mark, Kid Koala, Cut Chemist, and P-Trix. Today, I went to get tickets and heard my two favorite words in the world: sold out. Fuck! Why does there have to be so many people in Southern California? And why am I such a fuckin' dumbass for not buying tickets earlier? The same dumbassity suckered me into paying $164 to see Blink-182. I feel like I let Mr. Bob at WankerCounty down. Sorry, Bob. Pity me for being a fuckin' dumbass.

I guess I'll have more time to read Beowulf this weekend. Whoo!

DJ QBert may have slipped away from me, but Resfest shall not. Resfest, a digital film festival in its fifth year, will showcase 1,500 entries, including features, short films, music videos, animation and other examples of state-of-the-art technology. Doug Pray's acclaimed turntablist documentary Scratch will be among the films shown. In addition, the videos for Gorillaz' "19-2000" by Jamie Hewlett and Pete Candleland, Fatboy Slim's "Ya Mama" by Traktor (the Swiss creators of MTV's Jukka Brothers commercials) and Orbital's "Oi" by Paul Donnellan will premiere at the festival. Other video highlights include Radiohead's "Pyramid Song" by Shynola and Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice" by Spike Jonze. Yummy.

I had a job interview today for a front desk position at Dykstra (residence) Hall. It was…okay. A bit short, if you ask me. Either 10 minutes was enough for my interviewer to glean the man behind Jonathan Yu or I was prematurely dismissed like incompetent people at auditions.

I took an English class in the summer of 1996 at a local community college and on the first day of class, the teacher had us make personal information cards on which we had to, among other things, draw a self-portrait. For some reason, I drew myself and then wrote in parentheses that I kinda looked like Ben Stiller. Unfortunately, at the time, Ben Stiller wasn't a notable entertainer and nobody in my class knew who he was, including the teacher, who proceeded to jokingly refer to me as "Actor/Director Ben Stiller" instead of Jonathan for the remainder of the summer session. Why am I telling you this? Because I saw Zoolander tonight and boy, my little Ben has blowed up. What a funny movie. Now, male models are inherently amusing, but under the comic guidance of actor, director, AND writer Ben Stiller, the sheer hilarity of the modeling industry is turned up to 11 and then some. Adam Riff™, Jord, and Ben Stiller truly make life worth living for a Jew slut like me.