The Chickens Have Come Home to Roost

I found out that my boss' brother was a dancer for Britney Spears. How weird is that?

The Beastie Boys' Grand Royal record label shut down yesterday, citing "mounting debts, decreasing assets and exceedingly harsh industry conditions." It's a shame, really, because Mike D and company released some of the most exciting records of the past few years.

Have you seen the lead singer of the band Fuel? What a total flaming rock star. The combination of the fake mullet, nose ring, and tight leather pants force me not to take him seriously. Moreover, whenever he sings, he looks constipated…and evil. Somebody needs to realize that the 80s are over.

I guess the only things Danny Almonte can count are his blessings. See, I understand lying about your age to get into a bar or a club, but for a little league baseball game? Oh man… I have a confession to make. I am not 18 years old. I am, in actuality, a six-month-old ape conditioned to type random shit on a daily basis.

No matter how nice, moral, and shameful of their past history they may be, I still hate German people. There are Germans staying at the UCLA dormitories for the summer and they simply piss the fuck out of me. I mean, all the ever seem to do is chain smoke, spew that barbaric mumbo jumbo they call a language, and strut around with their chests stuck out emitting this "I'm better than you" aura. And that's just the females.

Correction from yesterday: The Rock and Kurt Angle will not be presenting at next week's MTV Video Music Awards. However, Jonathan Yu's live play-by-play commentary of VMA action WILL go down. Join me next Thursday starting at 6:30 PM eastern time (3:30 PM pacific) for my take on what is shaping up to be one of the worst awards shows ever.

Links:
go • alligator in the kitchen
go • beer vs. milk
go • camel-toe report
go • jesus was a vegetarian
go • leader of the free world
go • mullet gods
go • ouchy the clown
go • parts and kits
go • stop clown porn now
go • worm world

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