Whore Moan Imbalance

Any good wrestling promoter knows that the key to selling an event is promos, promos, and more promos. Thus, I'm gonna cut some promos over the next coupla posts in order to really sell a special event post I have in the works.

So now then.

I have no life. I spend most of my time at my computer allowing the life-sucking vortex that is the internet destroy my eyesight. At first, I couldn't get enough of these porn sites, but after a while, the novelty wore off. Sadly, there is a limit to what human beings can do involving sex. I then tried to get off on popular websites, but The Onion no longer amused me and I was simply too lazy to learn how to play Counter-Strike for it to amuse me at all. I was desperate for entertainment.

I would like to think it was fate that brought me last March to wankercounty.net, hands down my favorite website of all time…besides my own. Now, I understand that anything I say at this point can and will be construed as sucking up, and I'm not particularly known for being an ass kisser, but for the sake of promoting my special event post, I will, and proudly too.

What can I say about WankerCounty? I love the site. It's like a never-ending episode of Seinfeld, except that the cast consists of six (er, "five") high school age pasty white boys with old people's names and an affinity for rap music, fast food, and bad television. So young, yet so much more technically proficient than I am. Based in Michigan, the antics of the WankerCounty crew have, if nothing else, singlehandedly shot down my theory that nothing good has ever come outta the state of Michigan, a naive theory I proposed based solely on the popularity of ICP, Kid Rock, and Tim Allen. Yes, I was wrong. Strike one (for my ego)!

And then there's….

Best known as the Jew who looks Mexican, Jord is WankerCounty's resident troublemaker. This guy is too funny, and I'm not just saying that because I'm a Jew slut. How can you not resist the powers of a guy (and a Jew, no less!) who wore a t-shirt that said "Sony Sucks" when he went to see Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within? Somebody give this guy his own TV show. Jord and Adam Riff™ make life worth living.

I know, I need help. I'm obsessed with WankerCounty. It's one of the few sites I visit every day…seven or eight times…in an hour…for many hours on end…patiently waiting for a new post, and I'm seriously not kidding when I say that. Genius takes time, you know.

Dude, I've never kissed so much ass in my life.

Please hit up wankercounty.net for me. I think you'll enjoy it. If not, it's your prerogative not to like the site, but keep in mind that I WILL HATE YOU FOREVER! Oh, you know it. Besides, this is all building up to a special event post, and the WC boys will indeed be a key element of that post. You don't want to be left out now, do you?

Mariah Carey would do anything for:
(out of 8 votes)
her country • 0 votes • 0%
love • 1 vote • 13%
Skittles • 7 votes • 88%

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