Dude, Where's Your Shame?

I'll do anything to be on television.

Anything.

Even if it entails waking up at 6:00 am and going to the Dude, Where's My Car? video and DVD release party in Westwood to eat pizza and pudding and watch ostriches race each other while cameras record it all for broadcast on television news shows today.

Self-respect is such an abstract concept to me.

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