I was walking to class today when I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that had a doodle of a tennis player on the front and "lifekike" printed underneath. "Lifekike." It was one of the most awkward t-shirts I've ever seen, probably because it had…
Date Archives June 2001
Breathing Deeply, Walking Backwards
If you don't know already, I work for the housing assignments office at UCLA. I'm mainly a housing tour guide, but today, I got to alphabetize change of housing request forms for the 2001-2002 school year, and let me tell you, this incoming class of…
Dude, Where's Your Shame?
I'll do anything to be on television. Anything. Even if it entails waking up at 6:00 am and going to the Dude, Where's My Car? video and DVD release party in Westwood to eat pizza and pudding and watch ostriches race each other while cameras…
Detroit What?
To herald our triumphant return to the internet, we shall begin with some wrestling news. Stop groaning. Chyna and the WWF have parted ways after a contract dispute. Yay! The WWF is going to make their Monday night time slot on TNN into WCW Raw….
Trapped in Paradise Lost
Jon: Help me Obi-Wan! You're my only hope! Rory: Dude, what's your problem? NorCal is the shit! Jon: No…computer…must…get…out… Rory: What's that you're using then? Jon: A computer. Rory: Then stop complaining. Jon: But it's a library computer! I want mine! Rory: Oh be quiet….
Done and Doner
I'm done. Done done done. Did I mention that I'm done? Call me a done fuck because I'm well done with this school shit…until next week, when I return for summer sessions. That's one of the drawbacks of being Asian – you spend all your…
Let's Make Fun of Stupid People
LOS ANGELES – It's got plenty of the right ingredients – lawsuits, money, and rock 'n' roll. That's right. Napster the movie may be coming to a screen near you! "I can confirm we're in development on a project called Napster," said Marc McCarthy, a…
Pompous Circumstance
Unless your Dad will suck me off Unless your Mom will touch my cock Ejaculate into a sock I'll never talk to you again I wanted to speak at my high school graduation last year. I had this whole speech planned out with profound metaphors…
Blink and You'll Miss It
The June 12 release of Blink-182's new album, Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, will take up shelf space in four different versions. In addition to a standard release with the basic track list, three separate incarnations of the CD will feature three distinct bonus…