Rebel Without Applause

Jonathan Yu is going on tour! The I Hate Belle And Sebastian tour kicks off Wednesday May 2 in Westwood, California and will subsequently play a handful of North American dates before heading overseas. Come meet me, get my autograph, take my picture, and (if you're lucky) see me do a bad impression of a velociraptor. Icelandic sensation Sigur Rós and popstars Eden's Crush will open. Tickets are free and go on sale this Saturday at 10:00 a.m. through Ticketmaster.

Dates for the domestic leg of the tour:
5-2 • Westwood, CA (UCLA)
5-3 • Palo Alto, CA (Stanford University)
5-4 • Mountain View, CA (Mountain View High School)
5-5 • Berkeley, CA (UC Berkeley)
5-6 • Los Angeles, CA (Los Angeles International Airport)
5-7 • Garden Grove, CA (Rory Hornblower's Apartment)
5-8 • Madison, WI (University Of Wisconsin Madison)
5-9 • Evanston, IL (Northwestern University)
5-10 • Washington, DC (Arlington National Cemetery)
5-11 • Cambridge, MA (Harvard University Burger King)
5-12 • Poughkeepsie, NJ (Maplewood Public Library)
5-13 • New York City, NY (Madison Square Garden)

If there was no gravity on Earth, professional athletes would be out of a job.

There is a guy in my building who is half German and half Japanese. He has natural blond hair and speaks fluent Japanese. Oh, you gotta love mutts. Why do you always see the same kinds of mutts though? Half Asian and half white. Half black and half white. Half white and half white. We need more funky mutts in the world. I hereby order all Palestinians to start fucking some Jews. I mean it. I want to see some French on Canadian action. In nine months, I expect the world to be swamped with half Texan, half Taiwanese children.

I'm probably the only Asian in the world who doesn't like boba. Honestly, I can't stand that shit. What the fuck is boba? And what kind of name is "boba" anyway? Sounds like the title of an Atari video game or a bad art museum. Does the term "boba" refer to the tiny breast implant thingies or the coffee-tea-milk liquid they float around in? Moreover, is "boba" plural? If Rory and I each get one boba beverage, have we just ordered "bobas"? Does Bobby sell bobas by seashore? Whatever the answers may be, I still hate boba. It's up there with water on my list of least favorite drinks.

Who will be the last person standing in the 15-person battle royal? (out of 5638 votes)
Jonathan Yu • 4 votes • 0%
Shea Anderson • 14 votes • 0%
Scott Brown • 7 votes • 0%
Marilyn Cooney • 0 votes • 0%
Jill Denny • 1000 votes • 18%
Carol Gontang • 126 votes • 2%
Patricia Hyland • 0 votes • 0%
Marti Mittman • 39 votes • 1%
Matt Neely • 251 votes • 4%
Paige Price • 8 votes • 0%
Hugh Riddell • 4149 votes • 74%
Diane Tavenner • 2 votes • 0%
Katie Thornburg • 28 votes • 1%
Jill Toby • 15 votes • 0%
Lauren White • 1 vote • 0%
Elvin, get off the computer.

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