Earth Calling: "Pilot to Co-Pilot"

Yummy down on this: would you rather choke on a hot dog or drown in mayonnaise?

It's Eating Disorder Awareness Week here at UCLA. Look, if you have an eating disorder and you aren't aware of it, a theme week is not gonna help. Go eat an orange.

I was at a Carl's Jr. and I ordered a large soda. The lady behind the counter asks, "Would you like that for here or to go?" Dumbass.

The other day, I saw a guy put parmesan cheese on his cheese pizza. All hail extra cheese. What is a life without cheese? Longer.

I just don't see the appeal of excess servings – super size "extra value" meals, chocolate chocolate chip ice cream – you know what I'm talking about. I remember watching a Wendy's commercial where this Hercules-type male proves himself to the gods by eating a three-patty sandwich. Three fucking patties! Mmmm…atherosclerosis.

Burger King recently introduced "El Grande," a sandwich that consists of both a hamburger patty and a chicken breast patty. Hell, I'm not even Jewish and that sounds sick.

By now, if you haven't seen the Jackass clip of former clown Steve O regurgitating a goldfish, you're missing out and/or probably a Republican. It's amazing. Can the Dave Matthews Band throw up aquarium life? I think not.

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