A Las Vegas cheerleader gushed, "Quarterback Ryan Clement knows how to score."

Pom pom girl Paola was shown dressed primly and sitting in front of a laptop computer. "By day, I'm a law student," she declared. "And by night" [pause as Paola removes her glasses and lets down her hair] "I'm an XFL cheerleader!"

Commentator Matt Vasgersian said, "The players are panting a lot down there. It sounds like a prank call."

Commentator Brian Bosworth said, "That hole closed tighter than Monica Lewinsky around one of Bill Clinton's cigars."

Three words: "He Hate Me."