Anna Nicole Smith: 'It's Very Expensive to Be Me' Former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith acknowledged she has expensive tastes but denied she married her late 90-year-old husband only for his oil fortune. "It's very expensive to be me. It's terrible the things I have…
Date Archives February 2001
Best Movie of the Year
Hannibal
Valentine's Day Song Guide
"what to play for that special someone" for the Catholic… 2 Live Crew "Me So Horny" for the country music artist… Terrence And Phillip "Uncle Fucka" for the homosexual man… Outthere Brothers "I Want To Fuck You In The Ass" for the homosexual woman… Village…
Noise Addict
"You know what you call a perpetual optimist? A trombone player with a pager." – John Spencer in Glimmer, Glimmer And Shine "One brother is mall-doll Aaron, another's Backstreet Boy Nick; here comes sister Leslie, and she will Disney Channel the fuck out of you."…
The XFL – Week 1
A Las Vegas cheerleader gushed, "Quarterback Ryan Clement knows how to score." Pom pom girl Paola was shown dressed primly and sitting in front of a laptop computer. "By day, I'm a law student," she declared. "And by night" [pause as Paola removes her glasses…
We Want to See:
Black people on Saturday Night Live Destiny's Child actually sing live MTV stop airing those annoying Making The and Uncensored specials Teenage potheads not laugh when somebody uses the phrase "smoke out" Puff Daddy go to jail Super Size 3rd Rock From The Sun The…
Cheap Shot
"I don't think I'd last too long. I'd be found out at USC because I use complete sentences, at Cal because I shower, at ASU because I'd be sober, at Wisconsin because I have front teeth, and at Alabama because I have front teeth and…
A Shrub Joke
This morning George W. Bush and Dick Cheney were having brunch at the White House. The attractive food service caterer asks Cheney what he would like and he replies, "I'll have a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit." "And what can I get for you…
The Decline of Western Civilization
This is the second installment of our series devoted to icons of American culture. You know what we're talking about – AOL instant messenger, green ketchup, Miss Cleo and her free tarot card readings – things like that. Boy Crazy! "Real boys. For real girls."…
The Pathetic Adventures of Rory Hornblower
What is love? Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more. What is the meaning of love? Nothing, in tennis. How do you know if you are in love? You should hear her scream, "Oh, Kurt! Oh, Kurt!" Where do you find love? Attached…