Din Peaks

Previously on Adam Riff™:


Adam Riff™'s 2017 retrospective festivities conclude with a triptych of lump audio sums.

First up: The Sunken Tape, curated by me.


artwork by Eddie Holly

I plan to perform it in its 40-track, 02:02:04 entirety as our SXSW showcase this year.

  1. Eminem Nirvanna the Band the Show 0:23
  2. No Halo Sorority Noise 2:50
  3. Crew (feat. Brent Faiyaz and Shy Glizzy) GoldLink 2:56
  4. How Long Charlie Puth 3:18
  5. Whitney Houston Big Mouth 0:25
  6. GUMMY BROCKHAMPTON 4:21
  7. Visions of Gideon Sufjan Stevens 4:08
  8. Hard Times Paramore 3:03
  9. The Verve Pipe The Carmichael Show 0:32
  10. Anita Smino 3:57
  11. All About Me Syd 3:31
  12. David Bowie The Trip to Spain 2:02
  13. A Private Understanding Protomartyr 5:18
  14. You Came to Party Too $hort and Meter Mobb 3:54
  15. All-4-One American Horror Story: Cult 0:46
  16. Don't Take the Money Bleachers 3:36
  17. Windows Up IDK 2:13
  18. Blu (feat. Damon Albarn) Mura Masa 4:32
  19. Orphaned Skies The Banzai Predicament 3:26
  20. SISTER / NATION BROCKHAMPTON 6:05
  21. Cradle of Filth Halt and Catch Fire 0:40
  22. Root of All Evil (feat. Incendiary) CFO$ 5:56
  23. The Chemical Brothers Baskets 0:23
  24. Young Dumb and Broke Khalid 3:23
  25. Caroline Aminé 3:30
  26. Jenkintown-Wyncote Harmony Woods 2:05
  27. Kenny G Michael Bolton's Big, Sexy Valentine's Day Special 1:06
  28. Corner Store Aesop Rock 3:54
  29. Nothing to Find The War on Drugs 6:10
  30. The Way Life Goes (feat. Oh Wonder) Lil Uzi Vert 3:42
  31. Bad Liar Selena Gomez 3:35
  32. Nine Inch Nails Twin Peaks 0:17
  33. Less Than Nine Inch Nails 3:30
  34. T-Shirt Migos 4:02
  35. WASTE BROCKHAMPTON 2:34
  36. Cornershop Nirvanna the Band the Show 1:10
  37. Man's Not Hot Big Shaq 3:06
  38. Awful Things (feat. Lil Tracy) Lil Peep 3:34
  39. The Underside of Power Algiers 4:12
  40. We Find Love Daniel Caesar 4:15

No external stream because I still include skits.

Tell My Mother I Love Her

// New Orleans, LA

The woman beside me is eating the innards of a po-boy with a fork, its bread untouched.

Why even come to a po-boy shop? New Orleans doesn't lack for places that fry oysters.


I realized why the French Quarter bothers me – all the closed exterior shutters. I like seeing windows.


Oh, you can't bury anyone underground in New Orleans?

How can you bury more than one family member in each vault? How can a tomb hold all of those coffins?

According to a local ordinance, as long as the previously deceased family member has been dead for at least two years, the remains of that person can be moved to a specially made burial bag and placed at the side or back of the vault. The coffin is then destroyed, and the vault is now ready for a newly deceased family member.

Aging out of a coffin.

What happens if a family member dies within that two-year period? Generally, local cemeteries are equipped with temporary holding vaults, and the newly deceased family member is moved into his or her final resting place when two years have elapsed. [source]

What happens if multiple family members die within that two-year period?

Stephanie dies one day after DJ dies. Michelle dies one year and 364 days after Stephanie dies. Does Stephanie go straight to bag?

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

2. Pop Cipher (The Magicians, S03E01)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Leroy, listen, I have to tell you something. No one's ever called me 'James Woods.'"
    "I'm confused. I was under the impression they called you 'James Woods' based on your love of the woods." (Ghosted, S01E09)
  • "What's his name?"
    "Leave."
    "As in…Schreiber?" (Ghosted, S01E09)
  • Fred Armisen singing along to "I Try" by Macy Gray while a human head microwaves in the background (The Last Man on Earth, S04E09)
  • Martin Short (The Last Man on Earth, S04E09)
  • "It's like Matisse mixed with Shakespeare with just a liiittle Rhea Perlman on top." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E09)
  • "I would much rather be tired than poor." (Shark Tank, S09E15)
  • Braun Strowman trying to murder Brock Lesnar and Kane with a grappling hook (WWE Raw, 01-08-18)
  • "[You're the] old lace to my arsenic." (Marvel's Runaways, S01E10)
  • ♫ Francis and the Lights – "Friends [feat. Bon Iver]" (Marvel's Runaways, S01E10)
  • Marvel's Runaways Season Grade: C
  • "British men are basically American women." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "Personal hero? Latinos. They've been through so mucho." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "I just don't understand, Ronnie. We spoke every day. There was flirting and chemistry and suggestive emojis."
    "That wasn't suggestive. I really was washing an eggplant." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "'YOLO.' So true." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "We both agreed Billings was a mistake." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "A 'u up?' text might as well be a Chris Brown song." (Grown-ish, S01E03)
  • "Watching you talk to hot girls is like watching a white person try to explain why all lives matter." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "You're a talking penis!"
    "You're a talking penis!"
    "You're a talking penis!"
    "You're a talking penis!"
    "You're a talking penis!"
    "Everybody here thinks you're a talking penis." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "Why don't you just try to find something, like, more in your wheelhouse? Have you thought about, like, being a notary or something?" (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "What's up with that shirt? You sitting shiva?"
    "I taught him Jewish stuff." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "I haven't done under-the-pants stuff with a girl since my ska band broke up." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "I'm glad the job's working out."
    "Yeah, I love it. I've been getting tons of free clothes, but I always get free clothing."
    "Yeah, I have older siblings too." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "Hannah Montana Esther is dead. Welcome to Miley." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "The old guy I met online who paid me to eat macaroni wearing sweatpants turned out to be a total creep." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "How long does a quest like this take?"
    "A good…season. (The Magicians, S03E01)
  • "Kelly, I know from your autobiography that you didn't get your start in television until were 40. And Mary-Kelly, I know from your autobiography that you had sex with Wee Man." (Great News, S02E11)
  • "I'm just finishing an e-mail that I will have sent 100 years ago." (Great News, S02E11)
  • Bill Murray as Steve Bannon (Saturday Night Live, S43E10)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek

We Dat's

// New Orleans, LA

Raising Cane's is the "official chicken of the New Orleans Saints."

Anyone else ever order restaurant food to go and eat it sitting on a curb outside the restaurant to bypass queueing for a seat inside? #williemaesscotchhouse


The logo sends mixed signals.

The fuck? Every channel on this hotel treadmill is CNN.

Jon: I've never Lyft-ed this much. I could really use that $100 I lost at the casino.
Drew: Ride a bike.
Jon: Are you having a laugh? Sidewalks here are like black diamond trails for wheels, and streets are at least a blue square.

Laissez les bons temps rouler

// New Orleans, LA

My Lyft driver sees my destination.

Lyft Driver: Oh, that's near Jacques-Imo's, one of my favourite restaurants. My girlfriend is a server there.
Jon: Does she ever bring you leftover food?
Lyft Driver: No. I should beat her.
Jon: [Drew Scanlon reaction]


Does this casino not have baccarat?

Jon: Excuse me. Does this casino have baccarat?
Casino Employee: Heh. Follow me.

He leads me to an annex.

Casino Employee: We call this the "Asian table section." Baccarat, pai gow, you can eat noodles…
Jon: Ah-so…

Smoke-free baccarat is odd.


I did not expect a casino in New Orleans to be smoke-free.

I also did not expect there to be only one casino – and by law.

Harrah's New Orleans is referred to in state statute as "the official gaming establishment," see Chp.10, Title 4 of Louisiana Revised Statutes.

It's like if Denver only had one dispensary.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

Year nine.


1. Dan Le Batard vomits on air from Stugotz eating photo (The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, 01-04-18)


Stray Observations

  • "I'm a walking medical disaster, Frank."
    "Well, that's why God invented Canada." (Shameless, S08E08)
  • "Do you think it's weird that all the girls you've liked have been white?"
    "But that's different. See, that's not a preference. That's just what's around." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E11)
  • "Black Jesus, please guide my hand to the nougat." (Black-ish, S04E10)
  • "Let me let you in on a little secret: Rules are for ugly people." (Black-ish, S04E10)
  • "I hate to say this, but it sounds like you got yourself an 'urb.' An unruly bitch." (Black-ish, S04E10)
  • "You were in a band?"
    "Yeah. The Johnson Five. I was the most talented, and the most troubled. That's why I died so young." (Black-ish, S04E10)
  • "For the new trick, Pascal the Magnificent wants to make me disappear and then reappear in Jerusalem. But I don't know. I don't like hummus." (LA to Vegas, S01E01)
  • "He's not a Saudi prince. He's just a Mexican with a pet falcon." (LA to Vegas, S01E01)
  • "It's not a bottle opener, you caveman, it's a piece of art."
    "No, that's a bottle-opening scrotum." (The Mick, S02E10)
  • Jennie Garth (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "Television is the lowest form of art, okay? It's a rung below macaroni jewelry." (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "What a Brenda, right?" (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "People don't get a lot of cool stuff. Right? Like uni and, uh, John Cougar Mellencamp." (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "Okay, we got to figure out something, because I am going to that gala or I am getting my thermos signed." (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "Hot tip: Most of the young, eligible, Jewish guys hang out right over there. We call that area 'Little Boca.'" (Grown-ish, S01E01)
  • "Oh, hey, Taylor. You got any questions for the Pustule Brothers?" (Speechless, S02E11)
  • "Actually, I think Kenneth wants to…
    "Strip with teens? Oh, no, he doesn't." (Speechless, S02E11)


(9-1-1, S01E01)


(9-1-1, S01E01)

  • "That was 'She Hates Me' by Puddle of Mudd. Coming up next: 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.'" (The Good Place, S02E08)
  • "We're about to close it down with one last song: 'She Hates Me' by Puddle of Mudd and 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer' played at the same time." (The Good Place, S02E08)
  • "Surprise!"
    "Ah! Tiny Dunkirk!" (Great News, S02E10)
  • "He gave me a gift I can never repay: A $25 gift card to Coconuts." (Great News, S02E10)
  • "Chuck? Oh, no, are you the new Hedwig? I told you you don't have the chops." (Great News, S02E10)
  • "Please help me, Portia. I'll give you anything. How about a $25 gift card to Coconuts?" (Great News, S02E10)
  • "Still with us, Bo Jefferson, fiscally conservative van resident. And on the liberal side, daniel with a lowercase D." (Great News, S02E10)
  • "Do you think it's gonna explode?"
    "It's not a film. [If this was a film, we'd probably be American.]" (The End of the Fucking World, S01E02)
  • The End of the Fucking World Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek

Death, destruction, anarchy, progress, ambition, and self-improvement

I'm off to New Orleans for the first time.

B gifted me an Away suitcase for Christmas. It features a built-in battery to charge USB devices.

I can't imagine a scenario, however, in which I can't find a power socket but have this suitcase with me. During a ride from an airport to a hotel?