I hope your life is horrible without baseball!

MLB FoodFest is a two-day, indoor festival in New York City that gives fans the opportunity to try dishes from all 30 ballparks, from the Dodgers' lauded Cheeto-Lote to the Mariners' toasted grasshoppers.

On top of the eats, we'll also be keeping your IG feed fed with a hot dog art gallery, massive popcorn pit, and more.

The Yankees' signature dish is an adobo bao?

Lol at the Rockies' dish being a cheeseburger and fries.

This is their Black Panther

I had vowed never to attend another wedding and…I'm attending two weddings this year.

I want to wear something to said weddings that's interesting but won't irk the bride or groom's parents.

Jon: Damn, mariachi suits are expensive.
Jon: You think a mariachi costume is passable?


Jon: 1. Wearing a beige polo to a wedding?
Jon: 2. Assembling a close approximation of that outfit seems arduous.
Jon: 3. Will anyone get the reference? Particularly since I'm not black?


Go Join Lonely Virgil

// Las Vegas, NV

Why does the top of that giant slot machine read "East Lansing" in Michigan State colours?

I'm inside The D on Fremont Street.

Huh. The top of the giant slot machine on its other side reads "Ann Arbor" in Michigan colours.

I google "the d east lansing slot machine."


The business rooms have names like Saginaw and Petosky.

Is The D supposed to be a Michigan-themed hotel and casino? Because…


The D stands for "downtown," and also refers to [majority owner] Derek Stevens' nickname, and Stevens' hometown of Detroit.

So not Michigan-themed, but with a hint of Michigan.

That explains its American Coney Island outpost.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

10. Sperm Bank Demon Fight (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S03E02)

Honourable Mention

  • Cash Preservation Society (Portlandia, S08E08)
  • Shrek (Saturday Night Live, S43E15)

Stray Observations

  • "The only part of a roast that I like is when you say the nice parts at the end. Maybe I'll just do that."
    "I didn't know I was having brunch with Michael Landon." (Crashing, S02E08)
  • Crashing Season Grade: C
  • ♫: Brockhampton – "Boogie"! (The Mick, S02E16)
  • "Good insights, gentlemen. And that is what it's like to be a woman in today's business world." (Baskets, S03E07)
  • Writing a Greg Berlanti film into a Greg Berlanti television programme (Riverdale, S02E14)
  • "I saw on her Snapchat that she goes to a lot of jam band concerts, so… She likes 11-minute songs! I figure…I'm not as bad as that…" (Alone Together, S01E08)
  • "You use our Netflix so much that all our suggestions are aimed at you. I don't want to watch Broadchurch, Kenneth."
    "Well, you got to give it a chance! It gets really good after the seventh episode!" (Speechless, S02E15)
  • "I always wondered what kind of freaks lived in the apartments above outdoor malls." (Corporate, S01E09)
  • "I can't sell a clever Filipino – even one with a big dick." (The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, S02E07)
  • "Let's discuss your wants – and my terms." (The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, S02E07)

(Channel Zero: Butcher's Block, S03E05)

  • "Why you gotta lock in a child?!" (Atlanta, S02E02)
  • "My name is Peter Savage, but everyone here calls me '35 Savage,' because I'm 35."
    "We're gonna call you '36 Savage' soon." (Atlanta, S02E02)
  • "Long live fresh…nigga." (Atlanta, S02E02)
  • Bobby Shmurda (Atlanta, S02E02)
  • "Where my real niggas at?" (Atlanta, S02E02)
  • "I'm the Prince of Tides, nigga." (Atlanta, S02E02)
  • "Man, don't get me wrong, it's a funny show, but the way they dive into depression, and especially after what he did to her daughter, I was like, 'Can I even feel bad for this horse anymore?'" (Atlanta, S02E02)
  • "They got a no chase policy." (Atlanta, S02E02)
  • ♫: Flying Lotus – "Coronus, The Terminator" (Atlanta, S02E02)
  • The feminist bookstore ladies meet the Oh, Hello guys (Portlandia, S08E08)
  • Top Chef: Colorado Season Grade: C
  • "Well, sketch comedy is great, but at some point, you have to move on, you know?" (Saturday Night Live, S43E15)
  • "What's the main difference between rock and rap?"
    "Uhh, usually skin colour." (Saturday Night Live, S43E15)
  • "Overkill took an Uber." (The Tick, S01E08)
  • "I don't think my life's worth not killing anymore." (The Tick, S01E08)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You


cold pressed nut Mylks

// Las Vegas, NV

A new arena just off the Strip will be a 360-foot-tall sphere with seating for more than 18,000 people for concerts, awards shows and other entertainment events. [source]

Vegas already has five arenas on or near the Strip and is adding a stadium.

Imagine Vegas hosting every March Madness game.

[browsing Las Vegas Magazine's listings for Revues]

Fantasy Fun for singles and couples alike, the seductive revue features 15 numbers full of steamy choreography, powerhouse vocals and high-energy music. Besides bringing out your wildest fantasies to life, Fantasy offers up comic relief, too, with celebrity impersonations by comedian Sean E. Cooper. Luxor, 10:30 p.m. daily, $39-$59 plus tax and fee, 18+. 702.262.4400

Steamy choreography with a side of celebrity impersonations.

"X" Rocks This all-rock topless revue features sexy showgirls dancing to tunes from Muse, Metallica, The Beatles and Alice Cooper. Bally's, 10 p.m. Thurs.-Sun., $47.94-$72.95 plus tax and fee, 21+. 702.777.2782

Sexy topless showgirls dancing to The Beatles. "Come Together"?

Which Muse songs do you think are used? "Supermassive Black Hole" for sure…

"X" Country Giddy up as the "X" Country women in this bare-skinned adult show dance to popular country songs from artists including Tim McGraw, Patsy Cline, Taylor Swift, Garth Brooks, Trace Adkins and Hank Williams Jr. Harrah's, 10 p.m. daily, $47.94- $72.95 VIP plus tax and fee, 18+. 702.777.2782

Why is the rock one 21+ but the country one 18+? Both are topless…

The Nevada Gaming Control Board is testing shitty mobile games in casinos:

Are millennials killing blackjack?

Maria Bandit

// Las Vegas, NV

Dick Vitale is calling the West Coast Conference tournament final? He'll fly west of Kansas for this but not any Pac-12 games?


Thursday & Sunday at 10:30 p.m.

Each week, catch sports blockbusters on the big screen for a unique movie night experience.

Dick Vitale had to experience Glory Road at the Wynn Sports Book before he dies.

There are three unrelated "Public House"s on the Strip and six "The Buffet"s.

Vegas buffet excess is fed to local pigs.

Idea: A half- or third-price Day-Old Buffet. All of the food is Vegas buffet leftovers from the previous day.

Zero Latency

// Las Vegas, NV

Four nights a week!

What is the most money that someone has ever won from a slot machine in an airport?

As per this article:

The largest jackpot ever won at Reno-Tahoe airport happened in 2010, when someone won $10.4 million in a Megabucks machine.

The largest jackpot ever won at McCarran airport was $3.9 million on a Wheel of Fortune slot machine in 2005.

Driver: That's where the shooting happened.
Me: Oh! It's…not adjacent to Mandalay Bay.

Vegas has the chattiest Uber/Lyft drivers.

Chitty Chitty Bang, Murder Everything

What is Cheesecake Factory about these?

Wikipedia » Kit Kat:

Kit Kat is produced globally by Nestlé with the exception of the United States where it is made under license by The Hershey Company.

This is like Disney owning everything Star Wars except A New Hope.

Nestlé has to honour a licensing agreement which allows Hershey to retain the Kit Kat licence so long as Hershey is not sold.

As Kit Kat is one of Hershey's top five brands in the US market, the Kit Kat licence was a key factor in Hershey's failed attempt to attract a serious buyer in 2002.

Kit Kat: A lucrative albatross.

Nestlé doesn't want Reese's and Twizzlers in its portfolio?

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

9. The Winds of Winner's (Atlanta, S02E01)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

(Ash vs. Evil Dead, S03E01)

  • "Prince's best work in years. But you do know he's no longer alive over there, right? Now what do you think would happen if this fucking album were to find its way across?"
    "Ian, please."
    "We are tasked with safeguarding the most important fucking secret in the history of mankind." (Counterpart, S01E06)
  • "We're supposed to suck NACA's dick, that's why we came here! You came here to suck NACA's dick, suck NACA's dick!" (Crashing, S02E07)
  • Shark Tank Season Grade: C
  • "'KOKOMO IS IT REAL.' Do we really want a principal who's daydreaming about some fake paradise in the Florida Keys?"
    "Well, why are the other ones real? Aruba, Jamaica…" (A.P. Bio, S01E02)
  • "Koo Koo Roo got ya, huh?" (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E17)
  • "He was laughing at a [Suddenly] Susan joke when he passed." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E17)
  • "I want to visit you at Stanford, not Georgia Tech." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E17)
  • "Did you say Artem is a dentist?"
    "Yeah, pediatric dentist. Here's my card. Oh, the doll's head is there so you remember I'm good with kids." (LA to Vegas, S01E06)
  • "Captain Steve is on the flight, and he's very bitter, and not adorably bitter like a late-in-life Lena Horne, scary bitter like a late-in-life Bette Davis."
    "Love a reference from this century once in a while."
    "Hamilton." (LA to Vegas, S01E06)
  • "If you find yourself in Vegas on a Friday night, why not celebrate the Sabbath the way Captain Dave does? Praying the night away at Temple Beth Vegas, where you'll find the best all-you-can-eat Oneg, and the loosest slots this side of Haifa." (LA to Vegas, S01E06)
  • "This Discman only plays Seger." (LA to Vegas, S01E06)
  • "And here you stand, Bernard, forsaken and alone, like a young Hedy Lamarr's Joan of Arc, with no around to tell you they don't get that reference." (LA to Vegas, S01E06)
  • "I've been dreaming about kicking your ass for a long time, Dave."
    "Well, that's not gonna happen, so keep dreaming, Pam Ewing!"
    "From Dallas. All of season nine was Pam Ewing's dream. You never watched Dallas?"
    "I believe it's pronounced 'die-yes.'" (LA to Vegas, S01E06)
  • "You're acting like children."
    "Show me one child with a mustache like this. Foreigners don't count." (LA to Vegas, S01E06)
  • "Oh! Tiny burgers!" (Baskets, S03E06)
  • "Don't thank me, thank Arby."
    "I do every day." (Baskets, S03E06)
  • "I've died and gone to Arizona State." (Grown-ish, S01E09)
  • "What the hell do you bribe dead people with? Is there money here?"
    "And what about the White Walkers?"
    "Oh, the White Walkers. Yeah, I mean, those guys are bad news. You know, but then the British-sounding dude came and, you know, kicked their asses." (The Magicians, S03E08)
  • "What a volatile mix you are. Too lazy to work and too proud to be kept." (The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, S02E06)
  • "Being smart is useless unless it's in the service of something." (The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, S02E06)
  • "This world has wasted me." (The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, S02E06)
  • "This show is creating a false sense of camaraderie, like when a celebrity dies." (Corporate, S01E08)
  • "I'm just trying to cope through a year in Toledo with its miserable excuse for espresso."
    "Put your hand down. Next words I hear out of you better be in a British accent.
    "The bookstore at the mall has good espresso, m'lord." (A.P. Bio, S01E03)
  • "Oh, the ram's name is Pam? All rams are male."
    "Pam's a trans ram." (A.P. Bio, S01E03)
  • "Never talk about grades. No one cares. They have no impact on life." (A.P. Bio, S01E03)
  • "You wanna try one of these sliders, bro?"
    "Yeah, yeah."
    "Have a seat. Be careful. It's very, very cold." (Atlanta, S02E01)
  • ♫: Death Grips – "Hot Head" (Atlanta, S02E01)
  • "Florida Man is responsible for a large percentage of abnormal incidents that occur in Florida. Think of him as an alt-right Johnny Appleseed. No one knows his true identity, date of birth, what he looks like. That's why headlines always say, 'Florida Man.' […] Him, the state government, fuckin' cahoots."
    "Why would anyone even do that?"
    "To prevent black people from coming to and/or registering to vote in Florida, Earn." (Atlanta, S02E01)
  • "What flavour is a Flamin' Hot Cheeto?"
    "I am tasting hot." (Atlanta, S02E01)
  • "Hold on, let me put you on speaker."
    "Nigga, take me off speaker." (Atlanta, S02E01)
  • "What is you doing here?"
    "Yeah, Al sent me."
    "He too good to come see me now on his own? He DMX now?" (Atlanta, S02E01)
  • "Hey, I would say 'nice to meet you,' but I don't believe in time as a concept, so I'll just say 'we always met.'" (Atlanta, S02E01)
  • "Ma'am, do you live here?"
    "No, she don't live here. I'm fuckin' the bitch." (Atlanta, S02E01)
  • "You don't have an alligator."
    "Yes, he do!"
    "He do got an alligator!"
    "That's the alligator man!"
    "Them children ain't lying to you. I'm the alligator man. Okay? So now, just leave me alone, won't be no gator." (Atlanta, S02E01)
  • "All I know is I ain't gotta do shit 'cause I ain't done shit." (Atlanta, S02E01)
  • "This nigga got a full-grown caiman in here surrounded by chicken carcasses. Shit like an Azealia Banks Snapchat." (Atlanta, S02E01)
  • "Nigga, I'm not crazy. I'm not Florida Man." (Atlanta, S02E01)
  • ♫: Curtis Mayfield – "When Seasons Change" (Atlanta, S02E01)

(Babylon Berlin, S01E08)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You