Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish

Episodio Nueve: Las Juventud Guerreras.

Oh, the German title is even better: Die Letzten Jedi. Say it in Darth Sidious' voice.

My all-"international Star Wars film title" team:
I. Star Wars: La Amenaza Fantasma (Mexico)
II. Star Wars: Klonovi Napadaju (Croatia)
III. Star Wars: Nikmat Ha'Sith (Israel)
IV. Star Wars: Mia Nea Elpida (Greece)
V. Star Wars: Imparator (Turkey)
VI. Star Wars: Jedin Paluu (Finland)
VII. Star Wars: Than Luc Thuc Tinh (Vietnam)
VIII. Star Wars: Die Letzen Jedi (Germany)

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

50. Trump Off That White? (Desus and Mero, 12-07-17)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "You look like a potato and shit casserole." (The Walking Dead, S08E07)
  • "And I swear to God, if I even catch you thinking about cookies, I am gonna smash your little bones into dust, and then I'm gonna make that dust into a broth, and then I'm gonna slurp it down, laughing. [laughs maniacally] And you'll be inside of me. And I will poo you out." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E08)
  • Dueling parent traps (The Last Man on Earth, S04E08)
  • "Friendship kiss" (The Last Man on Earth, S04E08)
  • Tandy sniffing his fingers after ass-slapping/kissing Todd (The Last Man on Earth, S04E08)
  • "Big Murray's not watching you." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E10)
  • "Aaron Burr!" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E10)
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm Season Grade: D+
  • Julian McMahon back! (Marvel's Runaways, S01E05)
  • "There's nothing scarier than a cat person."
    "Mmm, disagree. You ever see someone make chorizo?" (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E09)
  • "Let's do some top 40. Okay, I think 'Sauce It Up' by Lil Uzi Vert could be very spiritual if it's sung right. All we gotta do is change 'sauce' to 'Je-sauce.'" (The Mayor, S01E08)
  • "Perhaps it was a bottom dial." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E09)
  • "Three corndogs for 99 cents. Who could possibly eat three corndogs and has a dollar?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E09)
  • "I am going to remove your penis, in thin slices, like salami." (Happy!, S01E01)
  • ♫: "The Super Bowl Shuffle" (South Park, S21E10)
  • '80s music (South Park, S21E10)
  • South Park Season Grade: D-
  • ♫: Joey Bada$$ – "Curry Chicken" (Mr. Robot, S03E09)
  • "It's not that I'm out of moves; it's that you're not worth one." (Mr. Robot, S03E09)
  • "You can't force an agenda, Mr. Alderson. You have to inspire one." (Mr. Robot, S03E09)
  • "Yo, hold my Warbys." (Saturday Night Live, S43E08)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You


Consumer of Terrestrial Entities

Internationally renowned model and internet sensation, Valeria Lukyanova ("The Human Barbie") makes a terrifying and memorable screen debut.

Eddie and his friend Chris call out for an escort after Eddie's girlfriend breaks up with him. Little do they know that while Natasha is a breathtaking beauty, she's really a possessed doll created by a mad doctor in an unholy laboratory and built with the urge to kill and dominate the minds of others to kill for her. [source]

The Doll 2, starring Human Ken Dolls Justin Jedlica and Rodrigo Alves.

"Little do they know that the silver man in Times Square is really a possessed Robert E. Lee statue."

Cilver War.

"Little do they know that their new zoo animals are really the Rock-afire Explosion."

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

49. The Jumping Shark (The Walking Dead, S08E06)

Honourable Mention

  • Judge Judy (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • The oner of everyone's powers in action under the overpass (Crisis on Earth X, S01E04)
  • Cinema intro intro (Mr. Robot, S03E08)

Stray Observations

  • "F. Murray Abraham. The 'F' is for fuckin' awesome." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • "People will watch anything with 'Chicago' in the title. It's been proven." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • "That's some good ass dick stories, man." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • "Black man showing up at her door with a do-rag? She'll have a heart attack."
    "She'll be fine. It's in the same family as a scarf, as an ascot, as a pocket square." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • "The verses are gonna be satanic." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • "Chicago Teachers" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • "That moment when your hair falls out…" (Search Party, S02E03)
  • "You're a lightweight drunk and a lacrosse-ruining slut." (Marvel's Runaways, S01E04)
  • The Americans (Speechless, S02E08)
  • Risky Business (Speechless, S02E08)
  • "Ray and Austin are chickens! Ray and Austin are chickens!"
    "Oh, I'm a chicken? So I provide 35% of the protein America consumes? Real good insult." (Speechless, S02E08)
  • 2.40:1 aspect ratio (Mr. Robot, S03E08)
  • "Do you like TV?"
    "Do you like horses?"
    "Do you like Wii U?"
    "No." (Mr. Robot, S03E08)
  • "First of all, The Martian looks like shit." (Mr. Robot, S03E08)
  • "The Martian has 92% on Rotten Tomatoes."
    "That's because most critics have shitty taste." (Mr. Robot, S03E08)
  • "I wish you were dead!"
    "So do I!" (Mr. Robot, S03E08)
  • ♫: Robbie Robb – "In Time" (Mr. Robot, S03E07)
  • "Millennials Against Canada" (South Park, S21E09)
  • Greta Gerwig (Saturday Night Live, S43E07)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You


Eater's Digest: Seattle 4

Previously on Adam Riff™:

October 2017
il corvo / nue / revel / xi'an noodles / mean sandwich / eltana / hello robin / chinapie / navy strength / teku tavern / pie bar / hot cakes / eden hill / bateau / trove / salumi artisan cured meats / rachel's ginger beer / no anchor / meat and bread / junebaby / hot cakes / tacos chukis / metropolitan market / macrina bakery / le petit cochon / pablo y pablo / joule / mean sandwich / ma'ono / trophy cupcakes / shorty's / teku tavern / georgetown liquor company / lowercase brewing / chuck's hop shop / twilight exit / cycene / macrina bakery / metropolitan market / eltana

Grilled Pickled Pig Tongue (Le Petit Cochon)
beer mustard, dilly tots, seed relish, apple jam, salt and pepper cabbage, tobacco

^ I was disgusted at myself after cleaning the plate.

Ghost Pepper Pork Tartare (Le Petit Cochon)
bonito aioli, nori, kumquat, mac nuts
—There's a reason you don't see many pork tartares.

Lamb Heart Tartare (Navy Strength)
yolk jam, ikura, taro chips

Anderson Ranch Lamb Tartare (Eden Hill)
hot mustard, goat milk caramel, petite carrot
—Tasted askew.

Steak Tartare Club (Mean Sandwich)
yuzu kosho mayo, bacon, lettuce, tomato, on sea wolf rye

Grilled Lamb Sandwich with Cheese (Salumi Artisan Cured Meats)
—Saddest lamb sandwich ever. Do better, Mario Batali's family.

Spicy Boudin Sandwich (Cycene)
cajun sausage, hot aioli, pepper jack, scrambled egg, served with home fries

Pepper Roulette (Junebaby)
black eye pea hummus, sour cream
—Just a ramekin of various roasted peppers of varying heat. Based on not being able to find a single photo of this dish, I think I may be the only person to ever order it.

Orange Habanero Chocolate Chip Cookie (Hello Robin)

Rick's Chocolate Apricot Espresso Cookie (Macrina Bakery)
—Bittersweet chocolate chunks are accented with apricot bits and ground espresso.

The Cookie (Metropolitan Market)
two types of belgian chocolate, local flour, toasted walnuts, butter
—I brought four of them home with me.

Lamb Belly 'Carnitas' Taco (Pablo y Pablo)
four-chile guacamole, mint, pineapple salsa

Wild Boar Meatballs Taco (Pablo y Pablo)
salsa roja, oaxaca and jack cheese, onion, cilantro

Adobada Taco (Tacos Chukis)
marinated pork cooked al pastor, topped off with a slice of sweet grilled pineapple

^ Maybe re-think the size of the pineapple.

No. 4 Ice Cream and Peanut Wrap [Taiwanese Brrrr-rito] (Nue)
pineapple ice cream, peanut ice cream, crunchy peanut toffee crumb, and cilantro leaves wrapped in a thin spring roll wrapper
—Maybe use a softer spring roll wrapper.

Mint Ice Cream (Navy Strength)
chocolate, potato chip crumble, root beer glaze

^ The texture of the ice cream was off-putting. It was like eating spearmint gum.

Fish Sauce Caesar [Salad] (Navy Strength)
paneer, nasturtium, pretzel croutons
—Its dressing is not made with anchovies, but with fish sauce made with anchovies.

Uncle Sau Pizza (Chinapie)
caramel fish sauce, pork, cilantro pesto, jalapeño, fresh mozzarella, grana

The Chowder Pizza (Chinapie)
potato, house-made rolled smoked bacon, taylor shellfish clams, bechamel, rosemary, mozzarella

^ Things that make you go "hmm…"

Shrimp Cocktail 2.0 (Joule)
chinese celery, pork belly, ginger beer

Reuben Mille Feuille (Bateau)
smoked brisket and belly, purple cabbage, russian dressing, rye

^ Style over substance.

Carpaccio (Bateau)
coffee aioli, marinated spring onions, spicy greens, onion ash

[Off-Menu] Bateau Burger (Bateau)
dry-aged grass-fed beef, onion jam, aioli, on a house-made semolina bun
Bon Appétit: "The burger to end all burgers."

The Mean Sandwich (Mean Sandwich)
thick-cut corned beef, pickled red cabbage, yellow mustard, mint, maple syrup

Skins and Ins (Mean Sandwich)
fried baked potato chunks and their skins

^ Fries 2.0.

Crispy Pig Ear
pickled onions, pecan butter, honey

^ I did not want to stop eating this.

Everything Bagel Pancake (Revel)
smoked whitefish, preserved lemon aioli

Wasabi Cream Cheese (Eltana)
—Good morning!

Za'atar and Scallion Cream Cheese (Eltana)

Honeydew Pineapple Spinach Hotter Pop (Hot Cakes)
–A house-made Otter Pop.

P.O.G. Life (Trove)
guava sorbet with passion fruit jello and orange ribbon

Strawberry Lemonade Cupcake (Trophy Cupcakes)

Black Forest Cake (Joule)
thai chili pomegranate glaze, condensed milk

(Revel) Server: Are you a pastry chef?
Jon: Heh. No.
(Revel) Server: Because no one has ever ordered all of the desserts before.

Revel Motherload (Revel)
miso caramel brownie tart, pretzel crust, toasted marshmallow, gochujang ganache, fried chocolate

Bingsoo Revival (Revel)
tropical punch tapioca, passion fruit mousse, black currant granita, guava jello, white chocolate crunch

Mochi Churro (Revel)
buttermilk mochi churro, kaffir lime, crème fraîche caramel, strawberry hibiscus jam

^ Mochi is not a good texture for churros.

Sheep's Cheese Churros (Eden Hill)
cherry tomato, black garlic, sesame, lovage

^ Better churros.

Cauliflower Chilaquiles (Eden Hill)
manchego, lime crema, serrano hot sauce, shishito, curtido

^ …and a worse play on Mexican food.

Taiwanese Chicken Heart Poppers (Nue)
crispy fried marinated chicken hearts, garlic, and scallion, served with rice wine and chili oil dipping sauce

Chicken Pho Soup Dumplings (Chinapie)
charred onion, ginger, scallion, mint
—Lack soup.

Eat the Entire Menu (No Anchor)

^ Split three ways, it was still filling.

Some changes:

Our Raw Puget Sound Oyster featured dill oil instead of spruce oil. Our Glazed Lamb Sweetbreads featured elderberry, pickled elderflower, and celery root instead of cherry tomatoes, smoked yolk, and romano beans. Our Grilled Wagyu Steak featured ceps and pommes purée instead of cherries and seasonal mushrooms. And instead of Vanilla Cream Cheese Custard:

Concord Grape Sorbet (No Anchor)
vanilla pumpkin pudding, pepita praline, sake lees ice


Thai Mang Da Na (Nue)
three large thai water beetles with intense flavours of fruit, flowers, candy, and salt

^ I couldn't do it.

Cornflake-Crusted Chicken Livers (Radiator Whiskey)
frank's redhot, aioli

Fried Beef Lip Terrine (Radiator Whiskey)

Lamb Neck Sloppy Joe (Radiator Whiskey)
coleslaw, fried onions, bun

The LPC Pig Mac (Le Petit Cochon)
olsen farm pig burger, sliced smoked pork belly, salt cured foie, plum jam, onion rings, truffle aioli, arugula pistou, red onion, salt and vinegar chips

^ $32 burger.

Sherried Duck Hearts (Le Petit Cochon)
grit cake, burnt eggplant purée, fennel cream spinach, pine nut vin, apricot

Flank Steak "Jerky" (Gather)
marinated in lemongrass, ginger, and fish sauce

Neli Pizza (Chinapie)
chicken tikka masala sausage, tomato cream curry, jalapeño, pickled onions, aged mozzarella, goat cheese

Japanese Clam Chowder (Iconiq)
white miso soy, daikon, bacon, seaweed butter bread

Beer-Battered Nori Dumplings (Cook Weaver)
kimchi, tahini sauce

Braised Brisket with Hominy (Cook Weaver)
pickles, fried egg, nori, in the style of bibimbap

Chocolate Chip Cookie with Gray Salt (Delancey)

Sweet and Sour Olive Oil Gummy Bear with Chocolate Truffle (Tarsan i Jane)

Sourdough Pancake [Liquid Nitrogen] Ice Cream (Nue)

Tallow Cake (Bateau)
poached plums, vanilla buttercream, pickled rose

Pine Ice Cream (Bateau)
juniper meringue, warm huckleberries

Blueberry Thrill (Trove)
calamansi frozen custard with blueberry swirl and cornbread cake

Razzmatazz (Trove)
calamansi frozen custard with champagne jello and raspberry pop rocks


Once You Pop… That's Great!

etwards on Instagram:

I think I'd lie for you
I think I'd die for you
Jodeci "Cry for You"
Do things when you want me to


Did Lifetime mash up two existing romantic comedies?

No, it's just a Christmas variation on Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Idea: Shakespeare in Love Actually – interconnected Christmas variations on nine Shakespeare plays.