On Saturday, I awoke to my brother blasting "Demons" by Imagine Dragons on a loop for an hour. Home sweet Guantanamo.
I heard "She Knows" by J. Cole on the radio.
Evidently, the word "damned" is unsuitable for broadcast.
[blank] if I do, [blank] if I don't
The hang-ups with language in America dismay me. Also: Radio coronating "Crooked Smile" by J. Cole. Worst song of 2013.
[sees 2014 Grammy nominees for "Album of the Year"]
Ehh…looks about right.
No one over 35 should be able to compile a respectable "albums of the year" list. 35+ year-old contemporary music enthusiast is one step above cat lady.
My album of the year:
So who's eligible for an Oscar next year?
Alex Ebert (Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros)
All Is Lost
Arcade Fire and Owen Pallett
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
The Great Gatsby
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
Karen O (Yeah Yeah Yeahs)
Kings of Leon
August: Osage County
Lana Del Rey
The Great Gatsby
Despicable Me 2
Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
49. Black Scientologists (The Eric Andre Show, S02E09)
- "But then it was horribly ruined forever, like three out of five of my sexy parts after I had kids." (Bob's Burgers, S04E06)
- "I still got two out of five sexy parts." (Bob's Burgers, S04E06)
- "Look, I'm not insensitive to the needs of women. I mean, I read Jane Eyre in college. Or, no, Jane Austen." (Masters of Sex, S01E10)
- "This is Principal Vagina. No relation." (Rick and Morty, S01E01)
"Oh look, honey, it's our son with Albert Ein-douche."
"I'm an angry father, not an improviser." (Rick and Morty, S01E01)
"It's touché." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E11)
"Ciera, it was to rustle feathers."
"Ruffle. Ruffle feathers."
"You said 'rustle' feathers."
"Rustle, ruffle, whatever. I don't care."
"Russell is a first name. Ruffle is, uh…"
"Rustle. R-U-S-T-L-E. Rustling leaves. You can also rustle feathers." (Survivor, S27E12)
- "I ate my son for a Blu-ray player." (South Park, S17E09)
- Bill Gates' "MS-DOS 13" tattoo (South Park, S01E10)
- "Is that a Jumpin' Jack with cheese I smell?" (American Horror Story, S03E08)
(The Eric Andre Show, S02E09)
"Hey, Questlove's in the house."
"Questlove, you're not in the house.
"Questlove…I'm your father." (The Eric Andre Show, S02E09)
- "Oh oh-oh, you don't know your basic facts." (Saturday Night Live, S39E08)
- "A guy wearing a necklace over a turtleneck." (Saturday Night Live, S39E08)
- Bill Brasky! (Saturday Night Live, S39E08)
- "He once date-raped Karl Malone on a dare." (Saturday Night Live, S39E08)
For the past few months, I have been getting the urge to paint a black "X" on my face.
I don't know why I have been getting the urge to paint a black "X" on my face, but I picture myself painting a black "X" on my face almost daily.
Sometimes I feel a black "X" painted on my face, like a phantom limb.
More of this meme, please.
Homecomings when you don't use Facebook:
Daddy: Your cousin Wayne is getting married next May in Taipei, and your cousin Emily is getting married next June in Atlanta. Can you attend their weddings?
Jon: Why is Winston at home?
Daddy: He quit his job.
Jon: In this economy?
Jon: Why are B's kids here?
Mommy: She got a job.
Jon: Are they strapped for cash?
Jon: He opened a candy store? In Sacramento?
I have to attend an unnecessary business lunch today, and the middle-aged white people I'm meeting chose a Chinese restaurant. I'm not sure if it's because they like dim sum, or if it's because I'm Asian.
John Krokidas has been set to helm Standard Loneliness Package, based on a Charles Yu short story.
Pic is set in the near future, where a recent college graduate gets an entry-level job at a tech company where he's paid to experience painful events in other people's lives. He falls desperately in love with his boss, and tries to build a genuine relationship in a society that's becoming entirely virtual. [source]
I am all in on this film.
Let's look at the cast of the Turkish adaptation of The Sopranos!
Melfi, AJ, Meadow, Tony, Carmela, Janice?, Junior, Christopher
Interesting that its producers cast actors who resemble the American cast.
Related: The Colombian adaptation of Breaking Bad –
Idea: A supercut of Colombian Walter Jr. reaction shots (0:27, 4:49).
Hmm… Might want to re-think your plans, Jon.
INT. LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT – DAY
I remove my laptop from its case and remove my shoes to pass though security, like I normally do, and a TSA agent informs me that I didn't have to. I then notice a sign informing me that I can now keep my laptop in its case and keep my shoes on.
After passing through security, I realize that I forgot my carry-on chocolate pecan pie at baggage drop and go retrieve it.
Passing through security again, I am directed up a flight of stairs and down a hallway to an annex security checkpoint.
"Was I sent here because I look suspicious?" I wonder. "Is it my flat brim hat with the sticker on it?" (Ed. Note: It was a new hat!)
But the travelers queued behind me followed me to the annex checkpoint, where a TSA agent instructs me to remove my laptop from its case and remove my shoes. I look for but see no sign informing me that I need not do so anymore.
On my way to LAX, I passed this place:
Chicago Style Chinese Cuisine: Deep-dish scallion pancakes.
California Style: Beef and broccoli and avocado.
Kansas City: Sweet and spicy chicken.
So UCLA is a fashion brand overseas.
UCLA Clothing is available in boutique and department stores in Europe, the Middle East, and Asia. Unlike domestic buyers, international buyers are interested in UCLA clothing because it is indicative of Southern California college lifestyle, not because they have a personal connection to the school. [source]
Meanwhile, in America:
Buyers are interested because they have a personal connection to both the school and Thor?
48. Eli vs. Knox (Boardwalk Empire, S04E12)
- "I've been working on Tina's talking points. How's this one: 'In this economy?'?" (Bob's Burgers, S04E05)
- "Adult" Tina (Bob's Burgers, S04E05)
- "Sailors in your mouth." Seamen, heh (Bob's Burgers, S04E05)
- "The truth is what those in power wish it to be." (Boardwalk Empire, S04E12)
- Goodnight, sweet prince (Boardwalk Empire, S04E12)
- "Girls call me 'Katrina' 'cause I flood them hoes." (China, IL, S02E10)
- "My potential!" (China, IL, S02E10)
- "Despite this establishment's nomenclature, this resembles no Scottish meal I've ever eaten." (Sleepy Hollow, S01E09)
- "This arrived for you this afternoon. More treasures from the Amazon, perhaps." (Sleepy Hollow, S01E09)
- "Release your sweets!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E10)
- "Mayo nut spoonsies." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E10)
"Hitchcock, why do you have your shirt off?"
"Can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E10)
- "My wife was murdered by a man in a yellow sweater!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E10)
- This episode was directed by Emil in RoboCop (Glee, S05E07)
'Tis the season.
Thanksgiving Sandwich (Ike's Place / SF)
cranberry sauce, havarti, sriracha, turkey, dutch crunch
Thanksgiving Sandwich (No. 7 Sub / NYC)
turducken, roasted brussels sprouts, potato chips, cranberry jelly, duck fat
Two of the more interesting Thanksgiving sandwiches I've eaten, both of which I wish also contained stuffing. If Ike's added stuffing to its Thanksgiving sandwich, it would be perfect.
Mexican Thanksgiving Sandwich (Mexicue / NYC)
house-smoked turkey, chipotle cheddar mashers, chorizo stuffing, chili cranberry relish
The chipotle overwhelmed everything else. All I tasted was chipotle.
Thanksgiving Panini (Bully's Deli / NYC)
turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, gravy, ciabatta
I was thankful for the gravy, because bites of this panini lacking it were super dry. This panini needs cheese.
Thanksgiving Croissant (Momofuku Milk Bar / NYC)
white meat turkey, dark meat turkey, gravy, cranberry sauce, and the dough is made with celery salt, so it tastes like stuffing
They can be heavenly or just sufficiently Thanksgiving, depending on your luck.
Thanksgiving Donuts (Zucker Bakery / NYC)
spiced pumpkin donut, turkey and cranberry filling
spiced pumpkin donut, turkey and gravy filling
The turkey and cranberry donut [pictured] is the better of the two. The gravy in the turkey and gravy donut tasted oddly mushroom-y.
Thanksgiving Pizza (Pizza by Cer Té / NYC)
turkey meatballs, mashed potatoes with giblet gravy, butternut squash fondue, cranberries
It didn't evoke Thanksgiving, but it tasted pleasant.
Thanksgiving Burrito (La Flaca / NYC)
turkey, mashed potato, stuffing, corn, smothered in gravy and cranberry sauce
A failure pile in a sadness tortilla. Since when is corn a Thanksgiving food?
Thanksgiving Taquitos (Taquitoria / NYC)
turkey and brussels sprouts taquito with gravy and cranberry sauce
+ latka taquito with apple sauce and sour cream
Alas, I am not around to try these.
Thanksgiving Po' Boy (Queens Comfort / QNS)
smoked turkey, stuffing, cranberry chutney, lettuce, tomato, pickled red onion, remoulade
…and this was unavailable when I visited.
Thanksgiving Macaroni and Cheese (S'MAC / NYC)
turkey, swiss cheese, topped with herbed stuffing, served with sides of homemade gravy and cranberry jelly
Winner, winner, Kraft dinner.
Thanksgiving Chicken and Waffles (Sweet Chick / BK)
confit turkey leg, cornbread stuffing waffle, mashed potatoes, cranberry compote, gravy
I couldn't discern stuffing in the waffle, and the gravy was putrid, but a heap of fried dark meat atoned for their sins.