RT: "Originally, we wanted to do an Anthony Bourdain balloon because of the idea that celebrity chefs had disappeared en masse. We got Bourdain's photo in the pilot, but [when he was approached about Season 3] Bourdain was like, 'No! No Bourdain balloon!'" (The Leftovers, S03E01)
RT: The blood squib when Dean dies is one of the biggest I've seen. (The Leftovers, S03E01)
"Without him, we don't have a Chinaman's chance."
"I'm sorry, Ben. Here at Uber and in the rest of the world, the word 'Chinaman' is considered inappropriate."
"No no no, it's okay. My wife is Oriental. All of them have been. I kinda got yellow fev-ah." (Veep, S06E01)
"And that is why I am taking this opportunity to announce my charitable organization, the Meyer Fund for Adult Literacy."
"Certainly a worthwhile cause, but if we could bring it back to Sherman Tanz—"
"Yes, AIDS. AIDS is a big part of the tapestry." (Veep, S06E01)
"I feel like we're celebrating my frat house gang rape, except I didn't even get a candlelight vigil."
"I love candles." (Veep, S06E01)
"Son of a Sam. Offices in the South Bronx? I'm not the President of the Dominican Republic." (Veep, S06E01)
"The National Association for Transgender People would like to give you an award."
"Oh. Well, that's nice. Tell them I accept. Them?"
"Him. I don't know. Tell the bearded ladies I'm coming." (Veep, S06E01)
"What's going on with the speeches?"
"Let's see. We have the National Auto Dealers for $100,000."
"You've gotta be kidding me. That's half of what Hughes gets. That is pure sexism. You call those people back and you tell them that I was the first female President of the United States and I will not work for less than 87 cents on the dollar." (Veep, S06E01)
"I am so sorry to hear about Uber."
"Oh, God, a bunch of dumb-ass millennials, you know, too lazy to learn how to drive drunk." (Veep, S06E01)
"Shlomo Tanz is radioactive. He can read the newspaper on the toilet by the light of his own shit." (Veep, S06E01)
Plastic on hotel beds (Feud, S01E07)
"She's gassing us all with her VapoRub for show." (Feud, S01E07)
"I don't do bitches. They make me so unhappy. You should call my sister." (Feud, S01E07)
"She's like the Precious of Iraq." (Superior Donuts, S01E11)
"Can anything be too Ben Carson?" (Superior Donuts, S01E11)
"Death isn't about deserving. It's just part of the deal." (Bates Motel, S05E09)
"Cracker Barrel. It always helps to mention Cracker Barrel."
"Well, I think it's great you let Margaret play inside. It's a hot one out there. I was thinking of going over to Cracker Barrel because they've got such great air conditioning." (Better Call Saul, S03E02)
"You sound like you're outdoors. Are you staying out of the sun? It's a hot one today. I'm sorry, but Jimmy is unavailable at the moment. If you'd like to leave a message, Mr. Ehrman…traut? Trout, like the fish? Uh, I hear Cracker Barrel has excellent air— This one really don't wanna talk about Cracker Barrel." (Better Call Saul, S03E02)
"Have you guys had the soup over at Cracker Barrel today?" (Better Call Saul, S03E02)
"Terry puts out." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E14)
"No matter what happens, we'll feel better knowing we didn't resort to blackmail."
"I agree. From now on, the only black male I want anything to do with is you." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E14)
"White people love to shorten their names." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E20)
Helpful Ember-narrated previously-on (The Magicians, S02E13)
"I look like Jack Sparrow if he were played by a man." (The Magicians, S02E13)
♫: Manchester String Quartet – "Best Day of My Life" (The Magicians, S02E13)
The Magicians Season Grade: C
"Where are you from?"
"America…" (Fargo, S03E01)
Ashton belittling Vanck to the camera with Vanck next to her (The Amazing Race, S29E04)
The New AR™TV World Drama Champion: Better Call Saul Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets
O.M.G. Burger (LVB Burgers) duck burger stuffed with muenster cheese, smoked ketchup, heirloom tomato, watercress, roasted duck mayo
—Where I began to wonder if I actually love duck, or if I just love Peking duck.
morimoto / sugarcane / the buffet at wynn / beauty and essex / the buffet at bellagio / chengdu taste / royce' / sugarcane / the buffet at wynn / yonaka modern japanese / shang artisan noodle / sweets raku / wicked spoon buffet / naked city tavern / bacchanal buffet / sugarcane / bacchanal buffet / tacos el gordo / sushisamba / the buffet at wynn
Ichigo (Sweets Raku) balloon-shaped thin white chocolate cup filled with pie crust and strawberry mousse, served with strawberry candy filled with strawberry sorbet and condensed milk mousse
^ Standing fuckin' ovation. I was delighted to discover sorbet inside the candy strawberry.
Angel Cream (Sweets Raku) fromage blanc mousse and pear mousse with earl grey cookies and dark chocolate
16. Braun Strowman savagely attacks Roman Reigns (WWE Raw, 04-10-17)
Downriver Ale / Little Caesars / Chrysler Pacifica ads (Detroiters, S01E10)
Homeland Season Grade: D
John Waters as William Castle (Feud, S01E06)
"Does the syntax concern anyone else here at the table?" (Feud, S01E06)
"I don't know how to be alone."
"We'll be alone together." (Feud, S01E06)
"It's Louisiana. Everything has the sweet smell of rot." (Feud, S01E06)
"It's our burden, except we don't get a hashtag." (American Crime, S03E05)
"You're dancing with a hot chick under protest." (Crashing, S01E08)
"It's like Jambi's house." (Crashing, S01E08)
"Don't each french fries with your foot." (Crashing, S01E08)
Crashing Season Grade: C-
"Pull yourself together and go out there and make Teddy feel like he's the most interesting man on Earth. I want him to think he's Andy Borowitz when this is all done." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E13)
(Fresh Off the Boat, S03E19)
♫: Peter Gabriel – "Lay Your Hands on Me" (The Americans, S05E06)
Al Borland (Detroiters, S01E10)
"Rick Mahorn from the Pistons has a car dealership? I did not know that." (Detroiters, S01E10)
"Bicken Bones." (Detroiters, S01E10)
Rick Mahorn acting (Detroiters, S01E10)
Detroiters Season Grade: C+
"There was a great king on Earth who had a philosophy: Hakuna matata." (The Magicians, S02E12)
♫: Migos – "Handsome and Wealthy" (The Magicians, S02E12)
"Welcome to Vancouver" (The Magicians, S02E12)
"Honor is very important to my people."
"It's offensive to my people."
"No, Free Masons. I am a man who wears many hats." (Brockmire, S01E03)
"Co-exist." (Powerless, S01E08)
"Archie, as my blood brother, it was your sole responsibility to ensure that something like this never happened on my birthday. Now we're here, in the middle of a Seth Rogen movie." (Riverdale, S01E10)
Molly Ringwald (Riverdale, S01E10)
"QR codes are the herpes of mobile technology." (Shark Tank, S08E21)
Pepsi ad director continuity (Saturday Night Live, S42E18)
Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Legion Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets